"Hello?" Pt. 1

May 6th 2016

CatastrophicAura Is the Dubai fact truth of fiction?

Allofthestars-234 Does the tree exist?

Not sure who could verify the fact about the sloth! 

Unedited! Be warned!

~*~*~

"Guess what I learnt today?"

"What did you learn today?"

"There's this drug for schizophrenia and depression-"

"Hold on, I think I might need to sit down for this."

"It's called Abilify and it can cause excessive shopping, compulsive eating and an uncontrollable urge to have sex."

"..."

"That sounds like me when I'm on my period."

"Yep, glad I'm sitting down."

"You're going to freak out about the fact that I said 'period'?"

"No, but it's an interesting theory that you're probably going to explain in great detail, so I'm glad I'm sitting down. So, when you're on your period, you shop more, you eat more and you want to have a lot of sex?"

"Basically."

"How do you explain your behaviour when you're not on your period?"

"Well, that's just me being a woman. With needs."

"Quick question- why do you have this uncontrollable urge for sex when you're on your period?"

"Because I want what I can't have."

"You technically can have sex when menstruating."

"Ew, gross on so many levels, Daniel."

"I didn't say you should or that you would, just that you could."

"Still disgusting."

"And the shopping and the eating?"

"I don't have a therapist, so I turn to shopping."

"Ah, retail therapy."

"Yep, and then the compulsive eating is because I love chocolate!"

"Interesting. Why, exactly, did you learn this fact?"

"Twitter."

"Ah, the modern day Encyclopaedia."

"I thought that was Wikipedia?"

"Maybe you're right."

"Anyway... I'm not entirely sure why I bothered to remember this particular fact. I'm not even taking Abilify, so it's a pretty useless fact."

"True. So, uh... you know tomorrow?"

"Yes?"

"It's Saturday."

"And?"

"Are we going to Skype?"

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"It's just... we're getting along and I was hoping that maybe... I don't know, we could-"

"No."

"Right."

"It's not that I don't want to, because I really want to see you, but I told you that the next time I see you, we could talk about what happened, and I don't want to do that over Skype. You understand, right?"