"Hello?" Pt. 1

January 16th, 2016

"Hi, Daniel, it's me, Sophie. I haven't heard from you yet and it's gone  six pm. Um, I hope you're ok with me leaving you a voicemail. If not, tough, too late. You said last night you needed help with your attire but like I said, I haven't heard from you, so I've sent some things over to Goldman-Sadler-Thorpe. Rachel said that's where you work. Anyway, if you get this message before leaving the office and you've received the delivery, wear what I sent you. Don't worry about how much it cost and all that stuff- Hugo get's sent things like this every day and he never-"

... [timed out]...

"Hi, me again. Like I was saying, Hugo never wears them, so I'm putting them to good use. I sent some shoes, too, but I'm not sure if they'll fit you. If they do, good, but if they don't, stop and buy some identical to the ones I sent you, unless you already have some in the same style. You have to wear the coat, too. It's what makes the outfit. As for your hair, it should be messy, you know- bedhead. Um, what else? Right, wear a watch. I've packed one for you and it's a Kingsman-Bremont one, so it should suit you-"

... [timed out]...

"God, your phone won't let me leave you one long message! Stupid thing. As for your actual date, don't be too up yourself. Girls hate that. I know I tolerate that in you, but other girls aren't as understanding about it as me. Relax. Do not tell corny jokes. Actually, do you even know any jokes? You probably don't so scratch that piece of advice. Ask her lots of questions, show an interest. If she tries to ask you something, answer politely and then turn the conversation back on her. The exhibition tonight is by Greogrio-"

... [timed out]...

"Gregorio Aneiro and he's Italian but he grew up in Paris with his French mother. He's young and hip and cool and that's why he's so hot at the moment. His street art is considered to be the best amongst his peers and he can be elusive. His medium is usually spray paint graffiti but he's been known to paint 3D murals too. If you need to impress your date with your knowledge of the artist or the work, just say that Gregorio is self-taught and one of the best street and urban artists of his generation and the artwork is transcendent. You could also say that Gregorio-

... [timed out]...

"Stupid voicemail! Daniel, have a word with your provider, for crying out loud! As I was saying before I was so rudely cut off, Gregorio believes in finding unloved spots and turning them into art. He likes to leave the area more beautiful than when he found them. At that juncture, if you want, you can throw some spiel in on how her beauty isn't comparable to the art, or whatever else men say to get girls. Oh, little known fact about the artist, I breifly dated him a few years ago. Anyway, have fun tonight. If I see you and you're not wearing the outfit I sent you, I won't pick up your call tomorrow. You have been warned. Have fun tonight, Danny Boy. Bye!"