"Hello?" Pt. 1

March 3rd 2016

"I am seriously losing the plot!"

"Fashion Week not going so well, huh?"

"It's horrendous. I was pinning all my hopes on today being a good day. I mean, Chloé, Lanvin, Balmain... it was like the big boys were finally coming into play. You know what? The big boys aren't always the best boys."

"I can't decide if the innuendo there was deliberate or not. We are talking about designers when you say 'the big boys,' aren't we?"

"Pardon? ... Oh! Get your head out of the gutter, Whitaker. Yes, I was talking about the designers. They seriously disappointed me today. So, let's talk about something else. I need to de-stress and focus on something else."

"Sure. Want me to tell you what I had for breakfast today?"

"Haha, ok, why not?"

"I had toast."

"Just toast?"

"With butter."

"Toast with butter?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"That's all."

"This is turning out to be a short, boring conversation."

"I also had orange juice."

"Whoa! Hold the front page! The Earl of Castleton had toast and OJ for breakfast today!"

"Oh, shut up."

"I'm kidding. Talk me through your day, starting with you waking up."

"I woke up."

"At what time?"

"Five."

"That's far too early. Then what?"

"I ate breakfast and then changed into my gym clothes and went to the gym near work."

"What did you do at the gym?"

"I met Elias and we played squash."

"Squash?"

"Yeah, yeah, make fun of it. I don't care."

"I wasn't going to make fun of it."

"Oh,sure you weren't."

"I wasn't. Why would I make fun of that? I mean, I get out of breath just walking up to the first floor of my house! So, you and Elias played squash and then what?"

"I showered and then got dressed for work."

"Do you walk from the gym to work?"

"No, I'm too lazy to walk the five hundred yards to my office building."

"Nice use of sarcasm there, Daniel."

"Who said I was being sarcastic?"

"Um... did you honestly get a car to take you five hundred yards?"

"No, I didn't. I walked. I bought the Financial Times on the way, too."

"Financial Times?"

"I'm pretentious like that."

"Please, you're the least pretentious person I know. Have you seen the industry I work in?"

"True. I had a meeting at nine am sharp."