Dear You #Wattys2016

Ninght Letter

9th Letter

Dear You,

Alam mo ba ang isa sa mga reasons why I loved you so much? I know you do Raf, I never failed to remind you how much I love you and nasabi ko narin sayo to dati pa, I don't know if you remember this much Raf

But remember the day when you caught me off guard?

That day, hanggang ngayon, my feelings were just the same. Kinikilig na natatae ako na ewan. Weird ba? Weird naman talaga ako eh, alam mo yan.

Well that day was one of the days I will always remember and keep in my heart Raf, those memories, you can't take it with you too, you can take half of my memories but not this one Raf, I'll take this with me

I was so damn busy that day na nakalimutan kong magpaload, buti nalang at nakapag text pa ako ng goodmorning text sayo nun

I told you I was going to be busy today, I guess nasabi ko naman yun sayo nung araw na iyon but I was so shocked kase lage kang nagtetext

"Ano bang meron sa lalakeng tong ngayon?" kunot noo kong tanong nun sa sarili ko habang nabasa ko ang text mo na nangangamusta ka, I was going to reply until I realize na wala na pala akong load

I mentally slapped myself. I was busy facilitating the test with the freshment students sa University na pinag o-ojtihan ko nun, kaya binalewala ko nalang ang text mo nun

"Mamaya nalang ko to rereplayan, magpapaload agad ako mamaya pag lunch time" sambit ko nun sa sarili kong utak

Then I recieved another text from you

Rafael John Madrigal:

Babeee? :(

May sad face pa talaga? Sobrang kinikilig ako nung mga oras na yun pero sobra din ang pagpipigil ko because I was in a damn classroom with students who were taking the tests, syempre dapat seryoso ako kaya binalewala ko naman

I started to focus on the students more, there were a lot of students who were asking questions, kaya todo entertain ako. May mga lalakeng estudyante na humihirit pa talaga

Nako naman tong mga batang to, ang babata pa pero alam na ang mga ganito, di ko nalang sinasabayan ang mga moves nila, well di rin naman ako snob, I was entertaining them professionally

Di mo alam right? That there are other guys who can appreciate me and not just you Raf, but I chose you. Di mo nga lang yun napansin dati because you thought you were the only guy

Well tama ka naman talaga, you were the only guy that I loved but it was different for you, I wasn't your only one

Di ko nga namalayan na nagtext ka pa ulit nun until you called, todo vibrate ang phone ko, di ko alam kung sasagutin ba kita o ano, then the call stopped

Then it rang again, and so I excused myself Raf. I shouldn't have done that since I was in my workplace, dapat inuuna ko ang trabaho ko kesa sayo but I chose you again Rafael, I've always chose you but you were too blind to see it

You were only focusing on what I did wrong to you or maybe we were both focusing in our lapses that we forgot what we did for the both of us

"Hello..." malumanay kong sambit sayo nun when I picked up the call then that voice, that voice made my heart jump in glee

"Nasaan ka ngayon?" may halong frustration at pagaalala ang boses mo nun. I was so damn happy hearing your voice sounded like that Raf

Di na naulit ang mga panahong yun

"Nasa trabaho ako bakit?" sambit ko sayo nun

"Ah..Wala..Akala ko nasan ka, nagaalala ako sayo. Okay ka lang ba?" seryoso ang boses mo nun and it worry is so evident

"Okay lang ako bakit?" takang tanong ko naman sayo nun, nagpipigil na ako ng kilig nun, alam ko namang nagaalala ka dahil di ako nakapagreply but I wanted to hear it from you

"Wala kase di ka nagrereply, naestorbo ba kita?"

"No, okay lang. Actually sorry talaga babe di ako nakapagreply sayo agad, nawalan kase ako ng load eh. Sorry talaga babe, promise mamaya magpapalod ako agad pag lunch" sambit ko nun sayo, sunod sunod ang pagsasalita ko kase ayokong mas magalala ka pa

"Ah okay okay. Sige mag iingat ka ah. I love you" you said in the sweetest voice you could ever have

"I love you too, ikaw rin mag iingat ka" nakangiti kong sambit and we ended the call Raf

I missed those times Rafael, I miss how you sounded so worried for me

Bakit di na naulit Rafael? Bakit nagbago ka? Look how you were so sweet to me, sino bang tanga ang di mahuhulog dun?

People can't blame me for loving you Rafael, for falling for you. It's because you were so sweet to me, ikaw yung isa sa mga lalakeng nagparamdam sa akin nun

Well, naiparamdam naman din yun ng ex ko but not like you, he wasn't vocal enough but you were

Pero yun rin yung flaw Raf, you were vocal with your feelings for me pero never kang naging vocal sa mga problema natin, you started to shut me down, you started to shut down from me

And the worst is, never kang gumawa ng bagay na masasabi kong mahal na mahal mo ako. You did couple of things but not that much, maybe yun din ang mali ko kase lage nalang akong nageexpect when in fact, I can't push you to become someone who in the first place ay di naman talaga ikaw

Pero bakit nagagawa mong mag effort sa iba Raf? Bakit sa akin may deadline?

That time, that day, naramdaman ko Raf, I felt that you liked me, di pa guro love but I knew you liked me somehow

Pero minamahal mo ba talaga ako? Or was it all just a play for you?

Kase ako Raf? From the very start up to the last, consistent ang pagmamahal ko sayo, never yun nagbago