Dear You #Wattys2016

Sixth Letter

6th Letter

Dear You,

I still remember the way your voice sounds in the phone or in the skype. I still remember how we used to call each other late at night.

I wanted an inside of your life Raf, I wanted to know you better. You haven't introduced me to your friends but I already had. Not that it really should be at that time

Wala namang tayo, our relationship didn't have any labels at that time

But that night Rafael, it was one of the nights that you made my heart skip a beat, you made me so happy at that time

You called

You never really call, you know. We usually just text each other but that night you called

I picked up ofcourse. Medyo maingay pa nga nun sa linya mo, I don't know who you were talking to

I was waiting for you to talk to me kaya nakinig lang ako

"Tangina naman yan Rap! Ano ba yan!" malakas pa ang tawa mo nun, sigurado akong nagkakasiyahan kayo

"Hello.." malumanay mong sambit sa akin nun at my heart grew wild. I was damn nervous, di naman eto ang unang pagkakataong nagusap tayo but just like how we first talked, I was so nervous

"Hello. Napatawag ka ata?" takang tanong ko sayo nun, I was biting my lip since I was nervous

"Wala lang, di ba pwede?" natatawa mong sambit

"Di naman sa ganun, it's just out of the blue" sambit ko, may ilang minutong katahimikan hanggang sa narinig ko na naman kayong nagtatawanan

"Ano ba yan John! Sino ba yan?" tanong ng isang lalake, actually parang nangugutya nga siya non eh

"Tumahimik ka nga dyan Jonathan!" sigaw mo sa kasama mo non, nakakunot ang noo ko but was smiling, I dont' know but I found it so cute that they were teasing you

"Sorry babe, eto kase sila eh. Kasama ko pala mga pinsan ko" nakangiti mong sambit at napagtugpi tugpi ko rin ang pangyayari

"Ah.. Kaya pala maingay" nakangiti ko namang sagot sayo. I was imagining you and your cousins fighting over

"Yeah...Actually...." hinintay kitang tapusin mo ang sasabihin mo

"Jonathan wants to talk to you" sambit mo sa akin at mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Bakit ba gustong makipag usap si Jonathan sa akin? Yung pinsan niya?

"Ahh.. Bakit?" takang tanong ko sa iyo

"He wants to ask you something ata eh pero okay lang naman babe if you don't want to"

"Aba! Pakausapin mo ako John!" sambit nung Jonathan, di man lang ako nakapagsalita at kinuha na niya ang phone galing sayo

"Tangina Jonathan!" you scowled

"Hi! Amber right? Ako pala si Jonathan. Pinsan ni John" sambit ng pinsan mo nun sa akin, he sounded so excited

"Ah... Hi Jonathan" bati ko naman sa pinsan mo. When I heard your cousin, I felt he was friendly kaya naging okay lang din ang pag uusap namin, medyo naibsan na ang kaba ko

"So... Gusto mo na si John?" may halong pangugutya sa boses

"Ha? Saan naman nanggaling yan?" tanong ko sa pinsan mo nun, nagpipigil ng tawa o kilig

"Come on, you can tell me and I won't say it to him. It'll be our little secret" natatawang sambit nun ni Jonathan but then I couldn't trust him, he was your cousin after all and blood is thicker than water

"Ewan ko sayo. Alam ko namang sasabihin mo eh. Ano ba ang ginagawa niyo dyan at maingay kayo?" takang tanong ko at syempre pag iiba ko narin sa topic. I still don't want to talk about my feelingss for you at that time Rafael, I still want to keep it a secret

"Ahh.. Nagkakatuwaan. Actually mag iinuman kame eh. Okay lang ba daw na uminom si John?" tanong ni Jonathan sa akin. Napansin ko rin nun that he was calling you John which was your second name, pero binalewala ko lang yun

"Okay lang naman, di ko naman siya pinagbabawalang uminom eh" natatawa kong sambit sa kanya nun

"Oh, okay lang daw John!" sigaw ni Jonathan na may halong tawa

"Kayo kayo lang ba ang magiinuman? Or like-" pinutol na ako ng pinsan mo. I guess he got a hinch kung ano ang sasabihin ko

"Girls? Are you asking kung may babae kaming kasama? Wala, wag kang mag alala. Loyal si John sayo eh" natatawang pag amin ni Jonathan sa akin. I don't know if you asked him to say that to me Rafael or maybe galing yun mismo kay Jonathan. I don't know

I didn't believe him, at first. Because come on, you are guys afterall. Alam ko kung paano kayo mga lalake. Maghahanap kayo agad ng ibang babae once your girl is out of sight o minsan di kayo nakukuntento

"Did he tell you to say that?" natatawa kong sambit

"Aba! Tamang duda! Ikaw ah, wag kang mag over think. Trust John" sambit ng pinsan mo nun sa akin, he sounds so serious

"What? I'm not overthinking. Sinasabe ko lang ang mga possibilities" sambit ko sa pinsan mo nun. Yes Rafael, I know what were the possibilities, I doubted you. Syempre kung ikaw kaya na ilang beses kanang nasaktan at naloko, tignan lang natin kung magtitiwala ka kaagad

"Di nga sya ganyan, baka ikaw pa ang makasakit sa pinsan ko ah. Don't hurt him" natatawa na medyo may pag ka seryoso

Don't hurt him. I remember your cousin telling me that. Sinaktan ba kita? Pinaasa? Iniwan?

No. I didn't Rafael. In fact, I loved you, I trusted you, I was always there for you

You were the one who hurt me, you were the one who left me

Nakakatawang isipin na inakala ni Jonathan that I'll be the heartbreaker but he was wrong. I was wrong.

You were in fact, capable in hurting me. In destroying me

Nagkamali ako Rafael. I tried not so hard not to believe in your words but I came to trust it

I came to believe your existence in my life

Your love

Your promises

But I was damn wrong

I should't have trusted you, but I did. I shouldn't have believed you, but I did. I shouldn't have loved you with all my heart, but I did

I did Rafael. I did

-Amber