Dear You #Wattys2016

Twenty-Fifth Letter

*Last two chapters :)

25th Letter

Dear You,

Sa loob ng tatlong buwan na naging tayo, sa loob ng limang buwan na magkakilala tayo Rafael, I never thought we would come to this way this early

Oo, I admit, inamin ko na sa sarili ko dati pa lang, nung di pa tayo that I can't have you always and forever

That this love is temporary

But I did wish Raf, I did hope

I hoped that we would last until the end o kung hindi naman talaga ay magtatagal man lang tayo

But we ended so soon, so soon na di parin ako makapaniwala

That day Raf, we were okay, we were doing fine pero anong nangyari? Bakit nagkaganun

The day before that dreadful day, we were having a little argument

Papunta kase ka noon sa Batangas with your mother and all night long, di ka nagparamdam, you told me na palowbat ka na that afternoon but I assumed that makakarating na kayo sa Batangas by night and you would finally text me

Pero umabot nalang ang 3 am at di mo ako tinext kaya sobra na naman akong nagalit sayo, we've been fighting about time and your ex the past few days tapos dumagdag pa to kaya mas lalo akong nabadtrip

I was missing you like crazy pero ikaw parang wala na naman

Kaya nairita ako

Me:

Sige, text ka nalang pag may time ka sa akin

I texted you that by 3:05 am

Sumapit ang isang oras nag text na naman ako sayo

Me:

Sige, ganyan ka naman eh. Alam mo grabe ka, grabe ka talaga sa akin. Ang sama mo

And with that, I cried my heart out again, ever since I met you Raf, yes, I did became happy, I was the happiest person alive, you made me feel things that I've never felt before

You made me feel so good and better when you are around

But you also made me hurt, painful, parang ever since na nakilala kita, di ko mabilang ilang iyak na ang naiyak ko dahil nasasaktan na ako sa relasyon natin

I can't take it any longer, I was tired and hurt

Kase di ko kayang binabalewala mo nalang ako kase natatakot ako that you are slowly drifting away at baka iwan mo ako

But I thought di mo kaya gawin yon but I'm tired Raf, I was so tired kase paulit ulit nalang tayong ganito. Time was an issue and clearly, di mo iyon maibigay sa akin ng buo, your attention wasn't focus at me at all

I was never your priority kaya mas lalo akong nanlumo, iyak lang ako ng iyak. Humahagul gol kase nasasaktan na ako, kase mahal na mahal kita at kahit ganito ang sakit, kaya ko pa, I can fight for us, kaya kong magpakatanga

"Lord, bakit ganito? Ang sakit sakit na. Putangina ka Rafael! Ang sakit pero mahal kita eh" sambit ko nun sa sarili ko habang inaalala ko kung gaano kita kamahal

Napansin ni Ciara na naiiyak na ako dito ,actually nagising siya

"OKay ka lang ba Amber?" nagaalalang tanong niya, napabangon pa nga siya sa kama niya noon

"A-Ayaw ko na Ciara, ang sakit sakit na. Lage na niya akong ginaganito" di ko mapigilan na mapaiyak pa at mabasag ang boses ko, di na nga ako masyadong makahinga kase naninikip ang dibdib ko