Dear You #Wattys2016

Epilogue

Epilogue

Naalala ko pa ang unang araw na pinadala niya ang mga sulat nato, I mean technically, the first day I received that first letter. I was very shocked when I got that letter that one morning

"John! May nagpadala sayo oh! Andito ang LBC!" sigaw ni papa sa labas ng pintuan

Agad naman akong pumunta sa may gate at lumapit sa Kuya na nagdedeliver ng mga sulat na pinapadala sa LBC

"Thank you Kuya" sambit ko pagkatapos kong singnan ang papeles, as a sign that I already received the package

Agad namang kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ko ang sobre, pamilyar na pamilyar. It was a small envelope na kulay pink and it was scented

Nang pumasok na ako sa kwarto ko para makapagisa, ay agad kong binuksan ang sobre, nakalagay sa sobre ay isang sulat, it was a blue paper, two pages siya actually and that hand writing was familiar

I began to read it, I read all of her letters

Hanggang sa umabot na nga ako sa huling sulat niya. I have to admit, I am disappointed, I was glad she was giving me these letters, she was always this romantic, mas romantic pa nga sa akin

I always loved that about her, I guess she really didn't notice it.

Minsan pa lang naman ako nakakatanggap ng ganito, yung may effort talaga kaya nanghihinayang ako

Kaya nasasaktan ako

Oo, nasasaktan ako

Ngayong nasa huling sulat na ako, marami akong naiinternalize, I realize a lot of things

I was jerk to her

Naalala ko pa nung ginawa ko yun at nalaman iyon ng mga kaibigan ko, Xandra was mad, really mad. She knew Amber, she knew her very well and she knew that I loved her

"Naman John! Tangina ka ba ha? Gago ka? Bakit mo yun ginawa? Look, I know you are a good guy but she's a great girl too John, ako ang nasasaktan para sa kanya. When we talked about you, she was damn hurt. Naiwan siya sa ere eh!" pagsisigaw ni Xandra nung nagkita kami, ilang araw din akong naging mailap sa mga kabarakada ko after we broke up

I had a lot of things to handle that time, marami akong pinagdadaanan

"Ano? Wala kang masabi? Gosh! Di ko alam kung magiging masaya ako para sa kanya dahil wala na kayo and she'll never be hurt ever again or malulungkot kase sobra siyang nasasaktan ngayon! Hindi ko talaga alam anong nangyari John so you tell me what the hell did happen?" mataman niya akong tinignan

"I don't know Xandra but she's not to blame. Ewan ko, gulong gulo ako nung araw na iyon. Gulong gulo pa nga ako hanggang ngayon. I'm a mess Xandra and she doesn't deserve a mess" mahina kong sambit sa kanya

Oo, gulong gulo ang isip ko nun. I had my family problems, lage akong pinpressure ng mga magulang ko at ayoko ng magpacontrol sa kanila. They are the only ones who want for me to graduate in business ad pero di iyon ang gusto ko. I wanted to become a chef for my parents to be happy but along the way, I can't lie to myself, nagkaroon ako ng maraming bagsak and my parents are getting at mad at me, nagkaaway narin kami ni mommy

And then there's Terese, damn I thought I was over at her. Yes, Amber might be right. Noong una naisip kong gawin siyang panakip butas but then I loved her

Pero nagparamdam si Terese ulet and that time, I needed that comfort and I thought I was still madly in love with her kaya pinakawalan ko si Amber, naaawa rin ako

But here I am, regretting all the decisions I made that night

Goodbye my love, goodby to my feelings, goodbye to all the pains and goodbye to you Rafael John Madrigal