Dear You #Wattys2016

First Letter

Morning came at agad akong pumunta sa LBC para ipadala tong mga sulat ko. I actually put them all in a box. A brown box tied with a flesh ribbon, baka sabihin niya kase di ako presentable. Nahiya naman ako sa kanya. And in the box, there's a note that's written

"Read one letter per day"

Hoping that you would follow it, hoping that you will read one letter per day hanggang sa umabot talaga sa October 25th

When I was at the taxi, my heart beated so fast, medyo kinakabahan ako. I wouldn't know how would he react, I wouldn't know how this might go but I'm gonna do this for me, para maging panatag na ang loob ko.

I need to do this for the last time. Some might tell me this is stupid, pero gusto kong gawin to. I wanted to do it not for him but for myself

Habang nagfifill up ako, di ko magawang pigilan ang sarili na maalala lahat ng sinulat ko sa mga letters nato, this box contained everything, every inch of my feelings for him

Nung natapos na ako ay agad na akong lumabas sa LBC. I know by tomorrow he will get to read them. Well, not all of them but my first letter

I couldn't help but ponder the thoughts I've written there

Dear you,

Siguro nagtataka ka kung bakit ko pa to ginawa, you might not even read this given our situation pero wala namang mahirap sa sumubok diba?

Remember how we first met? That wonderful summer day. I never actually quite imagined na magkikita tayo, much more pa sa ganong sitwasyon. Everybody told me, our story was worth a novel, they said it was quite a fairytale. Kahit naman ako ganun din ang tingin ko, well how I used to think. Siguro hanggang ngayon, I'd like to believe that you came for a certain purpose

Lahat naman tayo may purpose sa buhay ng tao. I know you had one in my life. I just still couldn't figure out what

Balik tayo kung paano tayo nagkakilala, it was one of the days where I was ultimately bored at walang magawa sa buhay ko kaya naman ano bang ending, pumunta ako sa mall and there, I found you. Joke, di pa pala. Habang naghihintay ako nun kung kelan ba matatapos ang mga selfish brats sa dance central ay bumili muna ako ng coins

When I came back, wala ng naglalaro. Good thing. Agad naman akong lumapit sa booth and I was about to slip my card ay nagkabangga ang mga kamay natin. Yes, cliche it may sound pero yun talaga ang nangyari sa atin

It was like destiny working on it's way, sa lahat ba naman ng tao na pwede ko pang makasabay doon, it was you. It was you Rafael.

I was just bored at that time, wanting to have a good time in dance central pero andun ka pa talaga, nagkabangga pa talaga tayo, hanggang ngayon di ko alam kung sinadya mo yun, sabi mo naman hindi. But that was impossible, ano yun, di mo nakita na papunta ako dun but you said you thought I was aiming for a different booth, pero mali ka Rafael, I was bound to go to dance central. We were bound to meet or so I thought

You said your heart beated fast, ano nga tawag nila don? Yeah, right, "Love at first sight". I was too. My heart did beat fast too, sa di malamang dahilan, I was hooked by you

Nag away pa tayo nun

"Kuya, ako po yung nakauna, tabi po sa kamay nyo" nanlilisik kong sabi sayo nun

"Miss, ako yung nakauna, kahit magtanong pa tayo. I'm the first one who got here, halos isang oras na akong naghihintay dito miss" sambit niya sa akin habang di parin inaalis ang kamay sa swipe machine

"Aba kuya, ako halos dalawang oras na ako dito" I lied, ofcourse, bored ako eh, pwede naman akong mag back out since I didn't wait that long and since pwede pa naman akong maghanap ng ibang mapaglalaruan dito but I want to fight with you, I don't know, maybe I was just too bored

"Huh, miss, ako nga ang nakauna, pwede bang tumabi yung kamay mo" sambit mo sa akin habang nakakunot ang noo at nakasmirk ka , halatang naiinis ka

"What? At bakit ko naman yun gagawin para sayo? No way!" sambit ko sa iyo at nakakunot ko rin kang tinignan, aba nakipagtitigan din ako noh, di ako papatalo sayo nun

"Really? Are you sure you're not gonna move away?" naghahamon ka pa nga, loko ka talaga nung mga panahon na iyon

"Heh. And what are you gonna do about it? Ha? Brat" sambit ko and I smirked kase mas lalo ka pang napikon sa sinabi ko. Ha! And I was damn right about you being a brat

"Then how about a match? A dance match, who wins, get to have the dance central booth" sambit mo sa akin at napapangiti ka pang mokong ka

"And why would I agree with that?" nakataas kilay kong tanong sayo, aba, di ako papatalo sa english mo nun kahit nandudugo na ang ilong ko

"Psh. Duwag ka pala eh" you damaged my ego right then at that time Raf. Yes, I was a competitive girl, I was someone who won't back down sa mga challenges and I know that's one of the reasons you fell for me

"Fine!"

And we were on a match and tanda mo pa ba kung ano ang result? We were tie, we did it for like six rounds, we were both panting from the dancing pero wala paring nananalo sa atin, so you smiled and laughed and said

"Okay, let's just both get away from here. Masyado na tayong pinagtitinginan ng tao and besides, we will end up tying this game, alam kong wala karing balak magpatalo sa akin" nakangiti mong sambit sa akin and I agreed Raf. I guess I have always agreed to you that sometimes, nawalan na akong ng boses sa relasyon natin, that maybe that was one of the seeds, maybe that was the first thing that made the entire thing wrong

Maybe that's the reason we didn't work out.

That day was exhausting but fun, matapos yung match natin, we both said goodbyes and those three words made me stay in the bubble for so long Raf, thinking we were meant to be, thinking that we can rock this world, thinking we can both dance to the rhythm

"See you again"

You said when I was about to leave, I smiled. I didn't answer. I don't want to answer pero nung sa pangatlo kong step, I chose to look back, to look at you and open my damn mouth

"See you again" I replied

Maybe I shouldn't have done that, or maybe that was the right to do or maybe the words wasn't right. Di ko alam

Kagaya ng relasyon natin, di ko alam what totally what went wrong. What made us strangers Raf? When did it all change? Bakit?

Questions, questions that I was looking for an answer, maybe andun na nga pero di ko parin nakikita

Maybe I shouldn't have went to the mall that day, o sana nag back out nalang ako nung nagkabangga tayo, but then I didn't. I chose to stay, I chose to play dance central, I chose to say that to you. I chose you to break my heart

- Amber