Edited***
I know right what a shocker!!
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Today I had the worst day of school. Stupid teachers making me write essays, 'popular people' being a dick like everyday. It's stressful. I just want to pull my hair out ugh. I wish I could drop out like James, but before my mom passed I went to the hospital to see her and she told me to promise her I will stay in school and I just don't want to let her down. I loved her too much to let her down.
I just have been depressed since that happened. I felt like a just lost a part of my happiness. It was just me and her. The only person I trusted with my secrets. I told her everything. Unlike my dad. I Didn't even talk to him. And he didn't give a shit about me. My dad always got drunk then moved and haven't heard about him. He didn't care about me and my mom. He wouldn't care. He left my mom when I was 3. He tried 'to stay in touch' but I didn't get one phone call from him. Yeah I know what a great dad and he is doing a great job staying in touch. He should get an award. But it didn't bother me. I didn't want to hear from him. He used to abuse me. Fuck him. Fuck Everyone.
But to my day worse than it was Someone told me at the end of the school day James is just dating me to get in my pants because he had a bet and didn't want to lose it. I mean I know before he dropped out, we started dating and have been dating for a year and a half. How long was be supposed to date me if it is a bet?
What if they weren't lying. What if it is true? I really do like him and he could just be using me for a bet. And that's when I came home the fastest I could and got into my bathroom, grabbed the razor blade and busted out in tears and started to do slow, painful but pleasurable, deep, lines.
I tried to stop but I could. I had depression since I was 15. Depression doesn't go away. It spreads.
I heard the front door shut
My grandma wasn't suppose to come home yet....
"Babe! Where are you? I got you something." James said coming up the stairs.
Shit, I forgot he was coming over.
"Babeeeee." He said.
I wiped off the blood off my wrist and the tears of my face and pulled down my sleeve before the door flew open.
"Oh there you are." He said coming over to hug me but I didn't hug him back.
"Is there something wrong?" He said, his face softening and I shook my head no and he had a confused face.
"You sure?" And I nodded.
"Well I got you something, it's a bracelet. I know it's not much but I thought you would like it." He said taking it out of the box, about to put it on the wrist that I cut a little while ago and I tugged it away.
He couldn't see.
"Put it on this one." I said with a fake smile on my face.
He could tell.
He could tell something was up.
Yeah I'm in deep shit. He is going to see. He is going to think I'm crazy....
He grabbed my arm and pulled up my sleeve revealing my cuts. I started to cry again.
"Why? Why did you do this. When did you do this?" He asked with an sad expression.
"S-Someone At School T-Told Me You Were Dating Me F-For A B-Bet and T-To Get In My Pants." I said crying even harder. He had a angry expression on his face.
"I-Is it true?" I said looking up to his eyes, tears forming into his eyes.
"Y/N that is a fucking lie. I would never do that shit to you. I love you. And please promise me you won't do this again. I love you too much to lose you. If I lost you I don't know what I would fucking do. You really mean a lot to me. Your strong don't listen to them. If someone say something tell me. Alright? I'll fucking kill them. You should know that I would never do that for a bet. I would never want to hurt you and I don't like when you hurt yourself." He said smiling, "Anyway the first time we had sex was a year ago and we still are dating aren't we? Actually we had it so many times and it was amazing and I'm still with the girl I love" He said smirking and my cheeks turning bright red.
"You Look cute when you do that."
"Do what?
"When you blush. It makes you even cuter. I didn't even know that was possible babe."
"You're cheesy James."
"Well it's true. You amazing and hot and mine. Don't ever forget that ok?"
"I promise I will never forget." I said with a big grin on my face
"Damn that smile is perfect too. And your eyes, and your lips." He said pulling me closer to him while I put my hands around his neck and his hands on my waist and kissed me passionately.
"I love you Y/N"
"I love you too." I said resuming the kiss. Finally we departed.
"Now let go clean your wrist up and watch a movie order a pizza and eat a whole bunch a junk food"
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So so short.
Sorry.
Um I'm sorry but I'm going to delete this book.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
JUST KIDDING HAHA GOT EMMMM
BUT IF YOU DONT VOTE OR COMMENT I MEAN GUYSSSSS VOTEEEEE AND COMMENT
Don't make me cry:,(
Well I love you and your puppy dog eyes I wanna be between your puppy dog thighs.
🙌🏾OLIVIANESS🙌🏾
