What Is Love - Barlow/Williams

Part 1: Prologue

It was a strangely warm November day when the news broke. One single solitary newspaper covered the story that day, after all they'd been granted the exclusive. The reporter in question had always been a supporter of them both, which was a bonus and was a considerate and principled journalist; never one for running rumours or exaggerating stories or just down right lying, and that was a rare trait amongst tabloid journalists – a rare trait indeed.

However, the story didn't stay within the covers of that one newspaper very long, for soon the morning magazine TV programmes were covering it, the media websites and social media were drenched in the 'scandal', all shocked, and hardly believing there could possibly be any truth in the story. After all the band had another album due out soon, maybe it was all part of some strange publicity stunt. But if an ounce of it was even slightly true, it was the story to end all others in the pop world! The news quickly spread, and finally a TV interview was set up. They both appeared together on a specially aired episode of Piers Morgan's Life Stories. They had vowed never to tell their truths in an interview like that, they wanted the particulars to stay private, to stay theirs. But Piers had a way of wrenching secrets out -

They finally confirmed the rumours were true; Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow had come out to the world, and not only were they both gay, but they were in fact a couple, had been for years, and were very much in love.

The two page spread newspaper article which had originally the story, spoke about how they had fallen for each other a long time ago, but also about how it didn't end well, how people got involved, words got twisted because more than one silver forked tongue spoke in their ears'. What had been the start of young foolish love had turned to bitter hatred and resentment, and they couldn't move pass it for years. They were both stubborn, and Robbie was in particular, incredibly vindictive at times. It was because he loved Gary so much, he just couldn't handle his emotions, and the result was venomously misdirected anger spat out like a shooting dart into the heart of his once lover. But that was all firmly in the past now, they had eventually settled their differences, admitted their truths, and later their love for the other, too.

They fell, quickly and deeply in love, which hadn't been incredibly sensible what with the album and tour still to go – both making their foray into the relationship more treacherous. They had wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible, but their band mates soon caught on, and were sceptical of the whole thing to put it lightly, their management even more so. But the men continued to defy the critics around them, and instead their love grew more. Yet, even with the Take That lads all knowing, it was imperative the relationship was kept under wraps, or at least that's what everyone told them - and Gary for his part had to agree. They had worked too hard to let this destroy their reputations, and then of course they had the other band members to consider. Gary was very aware of his responsibilities to the band, their record label, and their fans; he hated the fact he had to keep a huge part of his life secret, the half that made him smile when he awoke each morning, the half that filled his home with warmth, laughter and love, the half that made him whole – but he knew they simply had to keep it secret. He honestly wasn't sure it'd survive the scrutiny of the British tabloids, and yet here they were, they'd bared it all.

So why after being so carefully shrouded in secret for so long, was it NOW in a newspaper for all to finally see?! Well, that would have a lot to do with Robbie. Robbie, unlike Gary, was not so agreeable to keeping everything quiet; he loved Gary with all his heart and wanted to shout it from the roof tops! But of course he couldn't, he wasn't allowed. He felt it was wrong keeping that part of them hidden, it felt like he was lying to his fans, or ashamed to be who he was, but he wasn't. He worked on Gary for months, totry and convince him all would be ok if they came out. He enticed him with images of being able to walk through the park hand in hand, to sneak the quick caress, and even quicker kiss. Gary promised one day, but that one day was not coming quick enough for Robbie. He was sick of excuses, and as time went on he even started to worry it was all due to Gary not wanting to ever come out, not even contemplating it - because Gary was somehow ashamed of it, embarrassed or worse, not even as serious about their relationship as he was. The thought that the love of his life could feel any of those things about their relationship felt like a knife twisted deep in his heart, and it plagued him, embittered him. Gary was his, and yet no one knew. He wasn't sure he could take no more, until Gary finally conceded after an argument following an encounter with a female TV interviewer who had openly and relentlessly flirted with Gary throughout a interview to promote their new album, on live National TV. Robbie declared he could take no more. He was sick of being Gary's dirty little secret, he wanted a proper relationship, he wanted it all out in the open, he wanted the world to know their love - and he was sure they could handle it. He had therefore served Gary with an ultimatum, he didn't want to but he was desperate; to come clean, or call it a day! He felt guilty for pushing Gary into it, and for a brief second he feared Gary would choice the latter option, but of course he didn't, he agreed they'd admit their love to the world.

It took great courage and continued resolve, but finally after days of pouring over a written statement together, they had met with the carefully selected journalist, and alongside their managers, publicists and PR; on a sleepy Sunday afternoon they finally regaled their hidden love story.

The fall out had been intense and brutal but finally they were free! They certainly had a couple of rough months, which they expected - a lot of hate directed at them and a lot of jokes at their expense, but never from the loyal fans which brought great comfort to them. Finally, and ever so slowly, it seemed they were eventually accepted, some journalists, broadcasters and social media commentators would even remark that actually it was all so obvious, and that perhaps the in-tabloid-quarrelling of their past was simply denial of their true feelings for each other, if not just a simple lovers tiff!

As if it was THAT simple.

The truth of it was, that while attraction and infatuation had always been at the basic root of it all, it was so much more complicated than that. It had taken a long time and a lot of forgiveness to get where Gary and Robbie were, and in some ways their union still felt incredibly fragile because of it. They of course knew it had been a journey they had needed to take to get them where they were now, but they didn't kid themselves; they knew they needed to continue to work at it, to stay strong, to remain united, to be assured they had the other's support, had the other's back. Being in love was easy; being part of a relationship, having a life partner and all the responsibility that comes with that – now that was hard, as it should be. Nothing that comes easy has any true worth, really.

Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams knew what they had was worth it, and they knew what they were up against, they certainly didn't go into anything with their eyes closed; they had been under the world's spotlight far too long to be so naïve. They knew the fame and fortune could all melt away in a heartbeat, and so the only thing they needed to know of each other was the thing that could tear them apart: would they still be there for the other, if and when, everything else did disappear?!

And so they made a promise to each other. A promise they silently echoed every day, when either was in a bad mood, feeling ill, or struggling with self-worth, when one was upset or depressed, full of self-doubt, and beaten down by the media, and every single time they wanted affection, reassurance, and eventually a promise of marriage; they promised to belong to the other, for the rest of their lives, no matter what.

And they lived happily ever after!

Except...

What Gary hadn't taken into careful consideration, was the 'Robbie-problem' – meaning those parts of Robbie's personality that however endearing, undoubtedly threatened their precious union: his need for constant reassurance, his changeable mind, his pathological need for attention, and his partiality for pounding that self-destruction button all too often.

So little did Gary realise, just how all those frustrating but lovable traits in Robbie were about to abruptly call time on their little bubble of happiness, and even threaten to destroy their heavily fought-for, already incredibly fragile but loving union, maybe even tearing it apart, forever.

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Author's Note:

So this is a teaser into a new story I am currently structuring. In case you are interested in seeing how it develops, I have the basic layout for about 20+ chapters and plan this story to have smaller chapters than my previous story thus hopefully helping me to update more often, I've already written the first two chapters, and so will aim to update hopefully every Friday night.

Many Thanks xxx