What Is Love - Barlow/Williams

Part 40: What Is Love

Chapter Summary: Gary has a decision to make - but will he make it, or will someone he loves make it for him? Robbie meanwhile, has some serious soul-searching to do. See end of chapter for A/N.

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"He's just being off with me." Gary moped.

"In what way?" asked Gary's shaggy-haired, bearded companion.

"Basically completely ignoring me. Ever since I said about going to me mum's to recover", Gary told Howard.

"That was this morning. So you're saying he's been ignoring you since THIS morning." Howard commented trying not that hard to not sound sarcastic. It was later that same evening, and although Robbie nor Elliot did visit the hospital earlier, neither had in actual fact showed up at Gary's hospital room.

Howard however, had returned. He and Gary had always been very close, and after receiving a call from Elliot in which the larger man had regaled the conversation he'd had earlier with Robbie, Howard suspected he needed to speak to Gary quick. He knew the right course of action in terms of Gary's recover, and only hoped he could persuade his friend to take it.

"But isn't this all a mute point now?" Howard dryly commented.

Gary blinked at him, confused.

"I mean", Howard continued, "If you decide to go to New York, the talk of you going to either Robbie's or your mum's is pretty redundant", he flatly commented.

Gary said nothing but looked uneasy. That consequently made Howard instantly on edge, it was almost like he could predict what Gary was about to-

"I'm not sure I should go", Gary blurted out. His admission interrupting Howard's thoughts yet validating them all the same.

Howard rolled his eyes, he had worried about this but still couldn't believe Gary would risk so much, "Gaz, don't be stupid! You've got to!" he said sternly, "You're being released in less than two days, and Elliot can arrange for a transfer as early as the end of the week. Even earlier if we start the ball rolling now."

"But Rob –"

"For fuck sake, Gaz! Rob will understand."

But Gary shook his head with a serious look, "He won't – you should have heard him, he thinks I don't trust him, still."

Howard was poised for retort but hesitated.

"Gaz, do you? Be honest." he quietly asked.

Gary looked evidently shocked by the candidness of the question, yet without pause answered, "Of course".

"You sure?" he looked at Gary shrewdly.

"Yes! Dougie, I trust him!" Gary said with a strong voice, and a hard face to match. Except after a moment's reflection he unexpectedly added, "....I'm pretty sure I do".

Gary's eyes went wide with a strange kind of shock, like he was surprised those words had even escaped his own mouth; involuntarily escaped, before he could stop them. Whatever it was, Gary certainly sounded less than sure to Howard's ears. Howard hated himself for what he was about to say, but Gary's indecision gave him little choice -

"Do you truly trust Robbie has YOUR best interests at heart?"

Gary's jaw dropped at the insinuation; aghast, appalled even - "What kind of question is that!? Howard, HE saved my life!" he croaked with agitation.

"Gaz, calm down – remember your voice!" Howard said defensively, "I was just checking s'all. Besides, this isn't about him saving your life, or Mark – since he was there and saved you too. It's about what's in your best interests. And that's New York, mate - you must see that, even if Robbie doesn't, that's all I mean", he explained.