What Is Love - Barlow/Williams

Part 21: What Do You Want From Me?

Chapter Summary: All the TT lads head out to an exclusive social/night club in Mayfair, to try and recover from the dramas earlier in the day. Surely nothing else can go wrong?! ;) (see the end of the chapter for author notes.)

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It wasn't long before news of an argument between the Take That lads got around those that worked in the studio, and no doubt likely it would find its way into a tabloid newspaper, in due course. After hearing from Mark what had happened between Robbie and Gary, Howard and Jason decided to put off their track list decisions for the day, and instead helped try to relieve tensions by taking up Lucas' invite to the swanky social club in Mayfair.

"Have you spoken to Rob since?" Jason asked Gary, as he sat down to join 'The Captain' in their private booth, at the club. Gary was red-eyed and pale, obviously still reeling from the afternoon's events earlier on. He was still both in shock from Robbie's proposal, and their subsequent fall out. Already, there was regret in his heart, but he just couldn't decide if that was regret of the way he handled it, or from his decision itself.

"I've not seen him", he glumly responded to Jason's question after some pause, "I'm not even sure if he's coming tonight or not, not that I'd blame him if he doesn't – I just hope he's ok", he said quietly concerned. He wanted to make amends with Robbie, he just didn't know how. But he knew he couldn't leave it how it was; he didn't want to fight with him, and he didn't want Robbie to hate him. Gary knew he'd said some harsh things earlier, but so had Robbie. He just found it so difficult with Robbie sometimes, the youngest band member's simplistic all or nothing view was envious at times, but down right infuriating at all other times.

"Maybe he just needs time to cool down", Jason spoke up after a while, interrupting Gary from his self-pitying reverie, "you know Rob - " Jason continued, "he does these things spontaneously, without really thinking, and then when things don't go his way, he needs to take himself off and lick his wounds." Jason reasoned.

"He thinks from his heart. He always has." Gary said forlornly, "I love that so much about him."

"It's an enviable quality for sure, but a far from flawless one" Jason commented pensively, "but it sounds like you were too, it's good that you were honest with him; honest about how you feel".

"I dunno Jay...when has the truth ever really helped anyone?" Gary pitifully sighed.

"Well, I can think of a time when two good friends of mine finally came out with their truth", Jason said, offering a supportive smile.

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out!" Gary scoffed, taking a gulp of red wine.

"Look Gaz, you did the right thing, you had to be honest with him", the lean man said matter-of-factly, helpfully removing the glass from Gary's hand before he downed the whole glass.

Gary let Jason take the glass from him, gladly; he didn't want to get drunk, he didn't want to be numb. He wanted to feel this pain; the pain kept him feeling close to Robbie. Robbie, who likely wanted nothing more to do with him, 'That was what Robbie implied after all', Gary thought to himself.

"Maybe I was too honest though, or...I'm thinking I shouldn't have turned him down, I mean we could've worked it out...maybe", Gary eventually pondered aloud, yet still mostly to himself. But Jason looked at him like he was stark raving mad, "Are you kiddin' me?!" Jason said bewilderedly, "you can't start a marriage like that! I can't believe you were even considering saying yes, seriously?!"

"I know, I know, ok". Gary replied, slightly irritated by Jason's cynical tone, "I KNOW you're right – I just wish I'd spared Robbie's feelings somehow, and any embarrassment I caused him" he continued, "I think that's why he reacted the way he did. It's all certainly made things so much harder now, for the band too", Gary worried.