What Is Love - Barlow/Williams

Part 18: Beneath My Thoughts

Chapter Summary: Will things get better between the lads, as they are forced to work together? Will the other TT guys be able to maintain the peace? (see end of chapter for author notes).

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After the little spat about their dogs, things actually settled down, and all the lads got down to work. Much to Robbie's dismay however, Lucas was still loitering around, and as far as Robbie was concerned, it was far too much for a studio rep to be doing. Lucas' excuse was he was providing a bespoke service. Not that Robbie believed that for a second, "yeah right, I know exactly the kind of 'bespoke service' to wants to give Gaz!" he angrily told Mark one afternoon, but received only a roll of Mark's eyes in response. Robbie was still adamant that was Lucas was after Gary, to him it was just so obvious, but his bandmates were less than inclined to believe him, "He's just being friendly, Rob!" the other's would collectively tell him. "Yeah, real friendly to one band member only!" Robbie would retort, "doesn't that concern you, at all?! I mean it's like the rest of us don't even exist to him!"

"Are you saying you would prefer the guy give you more attention then, ey Rob?" Howard said with a knowing smile.

"That smarmy git! No thanks! I just don't get why Gaz lets the slimy prat monopolise his time so much – he was talking to him in the lobby for twenty damn minutes this morning!"

"Oh my god, Rob – a whole TWENTY minutes! What was he honestly thinking?!" Mark said with a wry smile, and Robbie couldn't mistake the sarcastic tone.

"Ha ha, very funny, but it's not like Gaz, he doesn't stand around chatting with studio reps, or any reps for that matter!" Robbie moaned.

"Oh, I see what's going on, you're jealous!" Howard's knowing smile grew bigger.

"I'm NOT! I just think it's obvious–"

"Look – I know where you're going with this, and you don't need to worry, Gary is not interested in him..." Jason said calmly.

"Hah! SO you admit you think Lucas fancies him, too!"

Mark rolled his eyes once more, "EVERYONE fancies Gaz, I mean, even me a little, and I'm only half-kiddin'! But that doesn't mean you have anything to worry about, even if he is after Gary. If I were you, I'd concentrate on making sure Gary knows YOU still care about him! ...oh, and get these bloody lyrics done too why you're at it!" Mark joked as he threw a notepad in Robbie's direction.

Despite himself, Robbie couldn't help but smile.

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"Erm, Rob – we're ready for you...whenever you're ready" Gary gently called out to him from the sound desk. They (along with a sound engineer) were the only ones left in the studio. The other lads had gone home, since the lines left to record were all Robbie's. The two ex-lovers had, perhaps intentionally, not been left alone together since that first talk before the band meeting. It was perhaps partly to avoid awkwardness (since they still didn't really know how to act around each other yet), but also partly because of the tension it caused. They both sensed it – it was after all, the same tension that had encapsulated them both for 20+ years, pulling them together and tearing them apart in equal measure. And for nearly 20+ years they hadn't realised the real meaning behind all that tension, only the fear it brought with it, but now, they knew very well what it all meant. They couldn't help themselves, they never could. From stolen glances to long lingering looks, awkward silences to complete unadulterated 'eye sex', the other lads had all noticed it too, but it instead gave them secret hope that a Barlliams reunion would soon be on the cards! They all thought it was surely only a matter of time before one finally cracked and kissed the other. Gary often thought this himself too, he missed Robbie so much; talking to him, kissing him, cuddling him, just being with him - which is why most of the time he avoided alone time with Robbie, to simply save himself the pain of not having him.