What Is Love - Barlow/Williams

Part 30: Let It All Begin (again)

Chapter Summary:

Robbie and Gary are back together, but no one else knows. How long can they keep it a secret, and will Gary finally shift Lucas out of his life? (Be warned, this chapter has very steamy smut/adult content). Sorry for the wait - see end for A/N.

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Robbie wakes up with Gary in his arms, and suddenly a massive smile spreads over his face. He is definitely the 'cat that got the cream' this morning; true, they didn't have sex; but they had kissed, and cuddled and chatted for hours, until they fell asleep in each other's arms, clothes still very much in tack. They spent the whole night curled up together on that dusty old sofa in their secret meeting place. It was actually freezing in there that morning; the air was so startling cold, Robbie could see his breath, but he didn't care because his heart was warm, and with Gary curled up against his chest, he couldn't care about his cold nose. He stayed there, not moving, not daring to wake Gary up; he wanted to live in the moment forever. He wanted to cherish the feeling of Gary's body, entwined with his own, Robbie felt secure and was intent in ensuring Gary did too, secretly hoping Gary would stay asleep a little longer, so that Robbie could just enjoy this part, cherish it....just in case. Because secretly, he was worried of Gary waking up and taking it all back, taking this all away from him, and leaving again. In fact Robbie was petrified of that, and so instead he stayed still, feeling Gary's warmth, listening to Gary's soft snores as the smaller man slept on, unaware of the current turmoil consuming Robbie's heart.

It was nearly a whole hour before Gary awoke. He simply stirred for a while, stretching and yawning, before he finally opened his eyes to find Robbie smiling back at him, full of hope, disguising the fear he felt in his heart. For a moment confusion fell over Gary's face, and Robbie took in a sharp intake of breath, as he mentally prepared himself for the worst...

Still a little dazed, Gary looked at Robbie and time stopped, then suddenly as if his memory was rebooted, he smiled widely and leaned forward for a kiss. Robbie was more than ready to catch that kiss and pulled Gary closer to him, ensnaring him in his arms, kissing him all over, in sheer relief and happiness. He was at perfect peace...well, he was until Gary pulled gently away and sadly told Robbie, that he had better head back home. Feeling his heart drop, Robbie playfully shook his head and refused to let Gary go. Frankly, Gary didn't want to leave their little happy warm bubble either, and so neither began to make a move. But reality was nipping at their toes, and as soon as Gary looked at his watch, he sighed and detangled himself from Robbie, standing up, he straightened his clothes.

Staying on the sofa, Robbie could only look on; his head hitched up, resting on one arm, as he surveyed Gary with hungry eyes and watched him as Gary tucked in his shirt, before pulling the dark green hoodie back over his waist line.

"What are we going to do, Gaz? I mean - what happens now?" Robbie quietly asked, a slight tinge of apprehension more than evident in his voice. Gary looked at him, and smiled, "I'll break it off with Lucas for good, then it'll be a proper fresh start for us, Rob. I mean it, I really want a new start for us," he told Robbie earnestly.

Robbie grinned widely, "Nothing would make me happier, Mr Barlow! Nothing in this whole world could make me happier than that – it's all I want!" he continued to beam. Hearing those words come from Gary, after everything they had been through; the lies and betrayal, the heart ache, the hurt, the arguments, and all the lost time – a fresh start with Gary was all he had ever hoped for, he literally wanted to cry with joy.

Gary beamed back at him, with a smile that shone like he had little rainbows in his eyes - Robbie had always loved that gorgeous smile.

"There's just one thing", Gary said (and Robbie suddenly felt his pulse in his throat), "I think until I've sorted the situation with Lucas, we might need to keep this all a secret, is that ok?" he carefully asked, worried how Robbie would take keeping their reunion a secret from everyone.