My Birthday Promise (Editing)

The victims of misunderstanding

The greatest distance between two people is misunderstanding.
-Anonymous

RUTT

'Okay. Let's do it again.' He said in a serious tone.

I stared at him before getting ready to speak up, 'on the count of three...1, 2, 3.'

'I think we should break up,' he said.

'I think we should marry...' I uttered simultaneously but stopped mid sentence when I processed his words. My heart sank immediately. I couldn't believe what I heard.

Did he just say we should break-up?

'What did you say?' he asked, narrowing his eyes.

'I was saying I think we would be merrier if we break-up.' I rearranged my words to match his thoughts.

There was an intense look on his face. I always liked his intense eyes. The way it beamed whenever it gazed at me made my heart race every single time.

May be it is the last time I am seeing those eyes. That very thought made me want to cringe.

'Oh, I am glad you also think the same.' He said, sighing. 'And all this while I thought you will be get upset about it.'

'It is good you didn't create a scene,' he joked. He smiled but he could not make me laugh with his poor joke.

No one spoke for another minute. He kept on looking on my face but didn't open his mouth. I couldn't speak any more as my emotions took control of me. My eyes were turning wet gradually and I was on the verge of breaking down. But I didn't let the tears come flooding out.

'I-I guess...this is it then.' I managed to speak somehow.

'We are doing this for our good.' He added. I pursed my lips and simply nodded my head in silence. He inched forward and we leaned in for a parting hug. I was fighting hard to hold up my emotion now. I knew I would break down any moment.

May be it is our last hug. May be it is our last moment together. May be it is the last time we are seeing each other. Tears rolled down my cheeks when these thoughts crossed my mind. I wept in silence resting my head on his strong shoulders.

I wiped my tears before we broke the hug so that he doesn't find out about me crying. He smiled at me. I somehow pushed a smile out of me as I wanted a happy split-up for his sake. He took short steps backwards, locking eyes with me all this while, before finally turning away. I stood there in dark as he walked away before disappearing in the dark.

I woke up with the image of Mohit walking away from me. I have had woken up by this dream for quite a few times. I was seeing this reoccurring dream for over a month now. It was not easy for me to get over Mohit; because I always thought he was the one for me; the one with whom I pictured my future. The picture perfect future.

According to him it was necessary for us to distance ourselves to get enough time to ponder about ourselves, to figure out what place we hold in each other's lives, and to think of any perceivable future together. The doubt about this relationship was planted in his head after I distanced myself from him by sinking myself into neck-deep work. It was not something I was doing on purpose, but I couldn't help myself. During my stay in US I betrayed his trust when I went a little overboard and kissed Arjun on the roof top of the pub but in my defense I was drunk. My attracted to Arjun was nothing more than a mere attraction. That kiss definitely would not have happened if I were on my senses. But it happened and the feeling of guilt I had after I realized my mistake followed me to India. Something inside me kept on telling me what I did was wrong and I was not worthy of Mohit anymore. May be that something was right. May be that's why God punished me by pulling us apart.

Sometimes I thought of telling Mohit about what happened between Arjun and me on the roof top that day and be done with the guilt. But the fear of losing him always stopped me from coming clean. Now, when I have already lost him, I regret not to come clean when I had the opportunity.

It was a tough choice to give up on a relationship so easily that seemed like a lifetime to me. But what needs to be done is needs be done. I didn't wanted to force him to stay with me once he had made up him mind to separate his ways. Okay, at that time it sounded like just a casual break-up to set our priorities right, to figure out how we wanted to take this relationship from here on but it was more serious than I thought. We distanced ourselves from each other and we hardly talked beyond formal pleasantries whenever we crossed paths.

We were back to being friends from lover, and the transition was not as easy as it sounded. It is easier said than done. You cannot be friends with someone you have loved and still love. May be you can be friend with someone you don't love anymore. But it was not the case with me. I loved him then and I loved him now. I knew I couldn't be friends with him anymore. That's the major reason why I couldn't say no to my boss when he asked me to head the US office. I agreed as I couldn't act to be a friend with someone whom I love more than anything.

****

MOHIT

Life is so unpredictable. This moment you have everything and the next moment you have nothing. It's funny how life can flip around in just a split second. It would be so wonderful if life give us second chances; second chances to make things right; second chances to mend our ways, to set things straight.

But that's not the case. At least it was not the case with me. Rutt was moving to US and I was not even sure whether I would see her ever again.

I wish I had told Rutt about what happened between Alisha and me on her birthday. What worse could have happen? She could have broken up with me. At least I could have saved myself from this unending feeling of guilt.

I realized we need to break up when she went from happy to unhappy on seeing me on the day of girl's night out. It was the sign, sure sign. When we are unhappy around your partner then it is in best interest of both to end the relationship. There is no need to carry on with the burden of the relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. She clammed up after coming back from US. I know someone told her about me and Alisha kissing but she never pitched it in during our conversations. She didn't stopped being friends with Alisha either. But maybe knowing everything and bottling it up was taking its toll on her. She totally clammed up. My strong sense of guilt didn't make things any easy for us. Our relationship which once looked rock solid and unbreakable had reached its breaking point. I realized it was the time, the time to end it. That's why my changed my mind at the last moment and instead of proposing her I told her that we should break up. She had the same thoughts of splitting up in her mind. I guess I did the right thing by freeing her up from this unwanted relationship.

Telling someone who mean the world to you that you want to break-up with them is never easy. It was the toughest decision of my life and making it sound like a normal break-up when you are hurting inside is the toughest thing to do. Aman couldn't believe that I broke-up with Rutt instead of proposing her. I told him I just couldn't say it. I did what was good for us not what was good for me.

****

Please vote and comment if you like the update.

Thanks for reading through,

Veer