My Birthday Promise (Editing)

My influential mom

Mohit

Few months later

I was watching the tiny houses and roads around me from my apartment's balcony on a Saturday morning. I was up early as I had to go to airport to pick up my mom. I was on the 16th floor of a 30 story building - not too high and not too low: just right. I was low enough that I can still see and hear everything going on in the street, and high enough that there was always a breeze on my balcony.

I used to spent most of my time in the evening here. As the sun set, I could see lights flickering as though in a time lapse. At night as much as I love the silence, I wish I could sense some activity around to make me feel less isolated and lonely.

I never felt so lonely in my life before. It hit me suddenly that a lot of the meaningful relationships I've had in the past have slowly faded, and with a few exceptions there aren't very many people that I'm actually really close to anymore in my life. Alisha stayed close, but I slowly drifter away from everyone.

Alisha was the only friend I was left with and she helped me a lot in keeping me sane. I discovered that she genuinely cared about me. I can see the love for me in her eyes but I lacked the mental energy to put myself out there to be heartbroken again. I liked her and she used to come here often. There was a bond between us that was so special and true. I'm not sure I can put into words the kind of relationship I shared with Alisha. Once Alisha went back to London to meet her parents, I was back to my isolated and lonely self.

Though I chose to live this way, being secluded from the world for the world was not for me anymore, a part of me was happy to know that my mom was coming here to live with me for some time. To be honest, break-up took its toll on me. I used to joke about how I would have no life after I break-up with Rutt, but I never thought it would really get this bad. I was leading a scarily anti-social existence.

Loneliness is a sad, pathetic, and unpopular state. I never thought I would feel it, much less admit it, but for this first time ever I just felt so alone.

I looked over the whole city. There were many people and vehicles going about their business, but I felt disconnected from them, as though I am watching a silent movie.

****

The ride back from the airport with my mom was silent than usual. She didn't speak much and her replies were rather monosyllabic. I was not new to her silence. Something was wrong. Now, I was having questions about her surprise visit.

As we walked in she looked around the messed up room and shook her head in disappointment. "That's why I tell you to get married," she remarked while adjusting her dupatta. She was elegantly dressed in a mustard kameez and blue pajama and matching blue dupatta. The dress was suiting her down to earth. I had always admired her dressing sense to such an extent that I always preferred to shop with her for my clothing.

"Not again, mom."

"What not again, mom?" she silenced me with her glare. "Just look around at your mess."

I didn't care much about the mess as long as there was no alcohol bottles lying around. Yes, I scanned the room for the alcohol bottles and hid them all in the store.

"I know some good girls who can take care of the house and, most importantly, you."

"Mom, I don't want any random good girl." I said looking at her big bindi which complimented her round face. She had a thing for big bindis and I had never seen her without one.

"Who do you want then? Deepika Padukone?" she said with a wryly smile.

"No. I am not saying that. What I meant is I cannot marry someone just because she is good."