My Birthday Promise (Editing)

Operation heartbreak

Alisha

I promptly realized I was fooling myself. I clearly had feelings for Mohit. To be honest, I loved him. And there's nothing I wish more than for him to love me back. I know he is taken but I still go weak on my knees whenever I think about him. I liked him from the first moment I laid my eyes on him. His laughs made me smile, and the way he talked gave me butterflies. Just everything about him made me happy.

When I moved to India I had no friends. And then I met this cute boy, Mohit, on my first day of school. We instantly became best friends. He would daily walk me home. We would do so much together; hanging out, going to each other's houses, going to the park, going out for movies, playing video games and what not. I was a bit of a trouble maker at that time and Mohit was my partner in crime. Our funniest moments were on two occasions. Firstly when Mohit and I planned this whole big school bunk just like prison escape we managed to climb over the fence but we both got scared and decided to get back. Unfortunately we both were caught and we ended up getting suspended. Few months later we decide to bunk school again. This time I and Mohit managed to jump over the fence. Amusingly we had no plan for what to do once we got outside. So we just wandered around killing time before strolling through the front door of school at 2:00 pm, pretending we had been at school. However, we'd been seen jumping over the wall and the police had been called after someone said we'd then been seen getting into a stranger's car. Same result; we both got suspended again.

Damn, we used to do so much fun thing together. I miss those priceless days!

As the year came to an end I started to fall for Mohit. I've had several crushes when in London and I thought this was just the same. I thought it was a mere crush that I would get over within a couple of days as always, but little did I know then that I was completely wrong!

I moved to Mumbai and eventually to London to back to my grandparent's. I had my reasons for leaving without telling Mohit. I thought moving away from him will make it easy for me to get over him but I was wrong again. I tried to forget everything we had but I couldn't.

Whenever I dated other guys in London, in my pathetic attempts to move on, I always ended up comparing them with Mohit. No other guy ever made me feel the way Mohit did. I realized I could never love someone else again.  And somehow I was convinced I deserved this after what I did to Mohit before completely shutting myself to love.

Shortly after I came back to India after ten years I searched him on Facebook and sent him message asking if he remembered me. When he didn't reply to my message for days it was clear he had forgotten about me. So, I decided against meeting him. But destiny had different plans for us. I met him at the party few days later. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him on the rooftop with his friends. We met after a long-long time and I was a mix of excitement and nervousness with butterflies in my stomach and all, you know, on the inside; all symptoms like a 16 years old in love. But I didn't let it reflect on my face as he was taken and was in a relationship with amazing Rutt. I just showed him how happy I was seeing him but he didn't reciprocate the same enthusiasm as me. Human nature is hard to understand I guess.

Since the party night, the day before Rutt left for US, I was thinking about Mohit a lot. Sometimes in my dreams he would sneak up behind me, whisper in my ear, and tell me all the things I've been dying to hear. Well, I'd say it's normal as far as thinking and dreaming about Mohit, but him still making me feel like no other, was not so normal. But I guess it happens when you get tired of how most people treat you and remember how great and different your old crush was in comparison to these people. Think about it, I was only 14 years old when I met Mohit. I was 25 now; otherwise I should have in these ten years met someone who makes me feel the same way.

May be I should tell him about how I feel before it was too late. Rutt is not coming back until next week, so I would be a fool to wait any longer to disclose my feelings for Mohit.

I was lying in my bed fantasizing about Mohit. I wasn't sure how Mohit felt about me but I was crushing for him right now. Merely being physically close to Mohit in theatre earlier today appeared to race my heart. I pressed my thighs against each other thinking of the way he was looking at me when the lift door closed.

Few moment later the overwhelming thoughts of Mohit was replaced by the underwhelming thought of Aman in the lift. It happened out of nowhere. I wasn't expecting Aman to kiss me, but he did. This wasn't supposed to happen so soon, but it had. When he first kissed me I was so engrossed in Mohit's thought I convinced myself it was Mohit. It started out sweet, but we got needier. His hand grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me closer to him. He pried my mouth open with his tongue as he gently traced patterns in my mouth. I felt as if my heart stopped, and I was dead on the spot. But when opened my eyes and came to a realization that it was Aman not Mohit, the surge of emotions faded away. It was evident I had no feelings for Aman but he was surely falling for me. Anyway it was always a part of my plan to kiss and seduce Aman though not this soon, and now that we kissed I guess I'll have to look forward to the next course of action in my plan - Operation heartbreak.

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