The LGBTQ+ Handbook

Dealing With Homophobic and Transphobic People

Yes. Sometimes you have to deal with negativity towards you, and that's never a good feeling. But we all have to deal with it. It's just like racism, and sexism, and any other form of discrimination. It does happen, and it will never truly go completely away, no matter how hard we try.

Dealing with homophobic people can be tough. You just have to not let it get to you. I know, easier said than done. But you know what? If you can find at least one person that likes you as a human being, and doesn't care about your sexuality, then you need to find the strength to destroy the bad thoughts.

You may be called a fag. Cool. Ok. What does that do? It's just a word. If you don't let it get to you, it won't hurt you. You need to build up a giant wall of positivity and break that negative word down into dust. Let it turn into rainbow glitter and blow it right back in their face.

As long as you are sure of yourself, and you're confident in yourself, you should be able to learn how to not care about other's opinions. They don't matter.

Sometimes, your family and/or close friends will hate you. That's always tough. If it is a friend, you need to cut them out of your life immediately. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of negativity. Break it off while the friendship was still good. Have nostalgic feelings for it, but understand that the friendship is gone for a good reason.

Sometimes your family disowns you and you become the family disgrace. This always hurts. You can't do anything about it. If you can support yourself, make a new family with friends that care for you. Have emotional trauma for the rest of your life. Have fears of abandonment and being left alone. Push through it. Learn to become an independent being.

Sometimes you do get trauma if you are disgraced by your family. Hell, I have it, and I'm not even openly disgraced! It does get better with time, though, I promise.

If you're having to deal with transphobic people, that's a little bit different. You've heard of all the hate crimes. So always be careful. A lot of society has not learned to accept you yet. So you must always be on your guard.

It's easier to be FTM than it is to be MTF. Gender roles and equality and all that hasn't exactly evolved to be extremely accepting just yet.

The way to avoid conflict as a trans person is to, well, is to not be trans. Which is impossible. So you need to find some good people you genuinely like, and then blossom into a flower of magic and confidence. The more confident and true you are, the less conflict you have. Most of the time.

So what I'm saying is that you need to train your mind to be strong. Be able to take the criticism. Be able to take the hate. Be able to fight back. Get a sort of circle of people that will have your back.

Don't forget to choose your battles wisely. Sometimes the best move against trans/homophobic people is to do and say nothing. Do not let anything get in your head. Let yourself become stronger than them.

This might have been a bit confusing, and I apologize for that. It's late night and I'm feeling a bit philosophical. Oh, and sorry about not updating much. I found out that you actually have to work in school, otherwise you get bad grades. Who would've thought, right?

Become the person you want to be, and don't be afraid to be confident.