Just Wanna Be With You (Sequel to YATMIM)

Oh The Nostalgia...

~ Kellins POV ~

Why hasnt she responded!?! She's read my message, but she didnt even START to type!?! Is she ok!?! Is my babygirl alright!?! I miss her so fucking much. I am physically craving her, her kisses, her cuddles, her smiles...I just want to hold her again. While frantically scrambling through my bunk for my old phone, I think back to her smile, how she would always smile whenever she looked at me, and how, when I followed her back and commented on her video, the smile I saw in the video she made was an older, more mature and more beautiful version of the old smile I would see so often. She never knew how much I loved her, even now she doesnt know how much I still love her. Eventually, I find my old phone. I'd tucked it under my pillow in my bunk, because late at night, after performing with the guys, I like to read through our old messages. I'll admit I usually end up crying because I miss her so much, but I can never stop reading them. Damn, I'd forgotten how many people I had in my contacts on this phone! Daniel, fuck! He was one of my best friends when I joined Heathers school! Holy shit! But, I am not here, in my contacts, for Daniel, Im here for Hannah. After scrolling for about 3 seconds, I see her name, and click on it, eyes filling with hope as I type out a text to her and send it.

Me: Hey Hannah! Its been forever! This is Kellin, by the way...I dont know if you'll ever get this, because you've probably changed your phone and your number since we last spoke...fuck it, Im still trying! How are you? Are you doing ok? Is Heather ok? Has something happened to her? She hasnt replied to my message, and Im beyond worried, did I do something wrong? 😔💔

She reads my message, and doesnt come back until 10 minutes later.

Hannah: Hey Kellin! This is still my number and my same phone that I've basically always had, so dont worry. Im doing good actually. How are you? I just spoke to Heather, she was procrastinating so hardcore that she forgot, she feels terrible and is a panicking mess rn. As far as Ik, she's doing ok, still dealing with the struggle of losing you, tho she rarely admits it, I can see it in her eyes. Sometimes, when her and I skype, I'll say something, or she'll say something, that maybe you had said to her all those years ago, or something will be said and she'll smile because she can imagine what your response would be, and then she just disappears. She completely disappears. Her smile leaves her face, the light behind her eyes dies, and she comes up with some bullshit excuse as to why she has to leave, then she'll end the call, and Ik for a fact she cries for hours on end. You still mean the world to her dude. 😕

A single tear falls down my cheek as I read Hannahs text. I cant believe Heather is still so depressed over me! She's still struggling with losing me!?! I need her back. I need her in my arms, curled up against my chest, a gorgeous smile plastered on her face as she stares up at me. I need my lips on hers, I need her sweet words in my ears, I need her, my cravings for her are only getting worse.

Me: I miss her so fucking much, she has no idea. I wont tell her or make it obvious, because if I start telling her that shit, I'll start crying for sure, and I'll be so scared that it'll scare her away. I cant believe she misses me too! Im on tour with the guys atm, and they've all noticed a change in me. Im so much more on edge, so much more emotional, so much quieter. Nick told them all why, and they're all really supportive, but I know they want to help and feel terrible because they cant. The only thing that can save me, is her. The only thing that can put a smile on my face anymore, is her. I need her so fucking bad. 😥

Hannah: You both need each other, and I want to help you get to her, because I can see the pain she tries to hide. I'll talk more to you later, I've gotta go and book into my hotel in England in time for Heathers arrival, bye for now dude! Heather should be messaging you any second now. 😉

Me: I do need her, and I hope you can help us. Ok, thanks for your help, bye for now! 😌

I sniffle as I turn off my old phone, going to my current phone, I see Hannah was right, Heather responded!

Heather: Hey! Its been literally forever holy fucking shit. Im doing good, looking forward to going to England tomorrow! Cant wait to catch up with wifoo and other frenz. Sorry I took so long to respond, I was procrastinating. How are you tho? Whats it like being in a band!?! 😱😜

Me: Haha, it has been forever! Thats cool, I'd love to go to England again too, but Im touring right now with the guys. Its fine, dont worry, I remember your procrastination issues! 😉 Im great actually, living the dream and all that shit. It doesnt feel real if Im honest. I do get lonely a lot too.

Heather: You fucking made it! Your dreams came true dude! Congratulations! 😃🎉

I made it, but it doesnt feel like it, because I had to lose my world to get here. I think to myself as sadness takes over me. I lied, Im not doing great, but I dont want to worry her.

Me: I guess so. You've made it too! A famous youtuber! Your videos are fucking hilarious too, Im not afraid to admit that I've been binge watching your videos for several days. 😁😂

Heather: Haha, oml, thats embarrassing, I talk about anything and everything in my videos man, fuck. 🙈

Just as Im typing out my reply, Justin strolls into the bunk area. "Hey, we're gonna go down to the bar, and you have to come, because you've been depressing as fuck as of late and I know for a fact alcohol will cheer you up. Who knows? Maybe you'll meet the woman of your dreams in the bar!"
If Heather was in that bar, maybe I'd believe you, but right now the woman of my dreams is in my hands, her words are at least, her good intentions. I think grouchily, before sighing and nodding "You're right, I do need cheering up." I stand up and quickly message her goodbye.

Me: I've gotta go, the guys are forcing me to get drunk with them, and if I refuse I'll be bored shitless by myself, it was awesome to talk to you again! Bye for now! 😋

Heather: Ok, have fun dude! Dont do anything you'll regret later! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 👋🏻😉

Me: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 👋🏻😊

She still drags out her goodbyes as she always did, that makes me smile. I shove my phone into my back pocket and Justin slaps my back "Good call! Lets go get pissed!"