Just Wanna Be With You (Sequel to YATMIM)

...Lies

~ Heathers POV ~

I arrive at the airport within half an hour of leaving the hotel. Traffic is surprisingly non existent at 3am. I tip the driver and exit the vehicle, collecting my bags and things from the boot (or trunk if you're American), I drag my suitcase behind me as I enter the airport. I sit in the waiting room for a while, just playing on my phone. I decide to look through my camera roll, then my photo stream. This phone is connected to my old phone, the phone I had when I was a teenager and dating Kellin, so after scrolling for over 10 minutes, I start to see old pictures of us popping up. I smile at the memories, my chin beginning to wobble. Just as Im about to break down, Kellin texts me

Kels: Hey babe, I cant sleep, are you still awake? I miss you. 😔❤️

I close my eyes in a pained blink as I read over the petname he gave me. I love it, but I cant, not now.

Kels: ...Heather? 😢

Kels: Hannah just texted me, where are you!?!

Kels: She's fucking crying to Justin over the phone, where the fuck have you gone!?!

Kels: Are you ok?

Kels: Please, answer me, at least tell me you're ok!

I shake my head and turn my phone off just as he calls me, instantly declining it. I break down and curl up into the chair in the waiting room. Without taking the time to get comfortable, I start bawling uncontrollably. I try to tell myself that this is for Kellin, this is for his sake, so that he can be happy. But is it true? Of course it fucking is! Why am I even arguing with myself!?! This is fucking ridiculous, of course its true! Why else would I leave!?!

After sobbing relentlessly for about an hour and being approached by 7 different people, all asking if Im ok, I run out of tears completely. My eyes feel so dry I fear they're going to crack up and fall out of my skull. That'd be a cool scene in a movie! I'd pay to see that. I sit up straight and compose myself, running my hands through my hair and rubbing my eyes. I get the sudden urge to pee, so I stand and drag my belongings with me to the female bathrooms, which take me a record of 20 minutes to locate. I lock myself inside a cubicle, do my business, while cramped in with all my luggage, before leaving and standing in front of the mirror. I place my hands on either side of one of the sinks and take in a deep, shaky breath as I stare at my reflection. Disgusting. I look even worse than usual. My eyes are slightly red and puffy from all the crying I've done, but they'll go back to their normal, dull, bluey-grey on top of pale skin, in a matter of minutes. My hair doesnt look too bad. Im just fucking ugly. We established this already, but fuck it. I sigh and grab my shit, exiting the bathrooms and deciding to attempt to reclaim the seat I was previously sitting in, until I stop dead in my tracks and almost fall over. Kellin!?! He's running around, holding up a piece of paper, shoving it in peoples faces and asking them questions, then nodding and running to someone else. What!?! Suddenly, one of the people he talks to points straight at me, my eyes widen, is Kellin asking people if they've seen me!?! And carrying a picture of ME around with him!?! I spin on my heel and start walking in the opposite direction, praying Kellin didnt see me.
"HEATHER!?!" He shouts from behind me, over the crowds of people.
I dont respond. I keep my head down, and continue speed walking away from him.
"HEATHER, WAIT UP!!!" His voice is getting louder, he's getting closer, fuck.
I try to quicken my pace, but I realize if I go much faster I will start running, and this bitch dont run for nobody. A hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me back, turning me towards them. Our gazes lock.
"What are you doing!?!" Kellin asks cluelessly.
I pull my arm away from him sharply "Im leaving!" I snap, turning and cringing at my cruelty, before attempting to run away.
Kellin bolts around me to stand in front me, and stop me escaping "Why are you leaving!?! Whats wrong!?!"
"Us, Kellin, WE are wrong! We cant happen, not again, not after what happened last time!" I feel like Im lying to him, but since we got here I've been telling myself the same thing.
I see the hurt in his eyes "Wh-What?"
I blink the tears away rapidly before he sees "We arent good for each other Kellin." I explain, trying to sound blunt, trying to be cruel.
Kellin steps back, as though staggering from a fatal blow. "I-I dont understand...I thought we were perfect..."
Inside, I am screaming. We are perfect! Dont let me do this Kellin! Tell me Im lying, tell me! Dont let me go, please! "We WERE perfect, but we arent anymore, we've changed too much."
"B-But I still...-" He takes a deep breath "-I-I still love you..."
Im trying so hard not to crumble. Just do it! Fall into him! Say you love him too! "You dont love me Kellin, you're just desperate to feel young again, and I make you feel that way because of our past, thats all we have: the past." No!
Tears stream from Kellins eyes, I turn and start to walk away again. "H-How the fuck could you think that!?! You know thats not true! I love you Heather!" I love you too.
I turn back to him "I know! I fucking know Kellin, alright!?! I just cant! I needed an excuse to leave you behind, I need you to hate me, so that you can move on, forget about me and be happy! Im a burden, a mess, a monster, you dont need me! Just go! Let ME go!"
He shakes his head "No! I promised you, I would never let you go!"
I close my eyes "Promises can be broken."
And just like that, I can hear everything shattering around us. Not only have I lied to him, but now he thinks I've always been lying, that every promise I've ever made has been broken.
"Im sorry Kellin, goodbye." I dont open my eyes, I dont dare look at him, if I do I will run back to him, and I cant do that, not now. I push myself forwards, lifting my suitcases off the ground as I speed through the airport, tears rolling down my cheeks as I sob loudly, the pain unbearable. Was it worth it?