Just Wanna Be With You (Sequel to YATMIM)

...The Penny Drops

~ Heathers POV ~

Staring down at the floor as I make my way up the stairs and onto the plane, I am emotionless. Empty. All of my tears have been cried. All of my pain is gone. I am just empty. Nothing. Floating. I load my luggage above my seat and flop into my seat. I stare out of the window, watching other passengers get on the plane, climbing the steps with smiles on their faces. I did this for him, I keep trying to tell myself. Its not true. Yes it is! No its not, you know its not! The truth is, you are scared. Scared to let him down, to disappoint him. Scared to feel loved. Scared for your dreams to become a reality and see them fall apart. Scared to let someone in. Scared to trust. Im scared. All this time, I've been in the complete wrong mind-set! All this time, I've been telling myself that he will be happier without me! But when he's with me, he's smiling, laughing, and over the moon. Its when we're apart that he gets sad. Alone. When he's alone. My eyes widen as I realize what this means. He is happy with me. He has always been happy with me. I've unintentionally blinded myself, tricked myself into thinking that the best place for him is as far from me as possible, when in reality, the best place for him is right beside me. Finally! He does love me! He really fucking does! And I love him too. But he doesnt know that. Oh my god, I basically rejected him earlier! Oh fuck!

Hold on.

He's sad when he's alone. When he's without me.

He's alone. Right now.

And, as far as he knows Im leaving the country, because of him.

I rejected his love. I refused to accept him. I abandoned him.

Right mow, he doesnt just feel lonely. He felt lonely when he dropped me off after our date, but he always had the hope of seeing me. Now, he's lost that. He has no hope.

What the fuck have I done!?!

I jump up from my seat "Excuse me, thank you, gotta blast!" I say as I barge past people, removing my shit from the comparment above my row of seats and dodging my way round people to get to the exit.
"Miss! Please, sit down!" One of the air hostesses hisses.
I shake my head "Sorry, no can-do, see, Starbucks is having a sale."
She gasps "OMG GO GET YOURSELF A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTÉ GURRRLLLL!!!"
I give her a small salute "Thanks boo, shall!" Then I fuck right off the plane. See, I know how to work stereotypical white bitches.

As soon as Im back inside the airport, I text Hannah.

Me: WHERE THE FUCK IS KELLIN!?!?!?!?!?!!!!????

Wifoo: HE WENT OUT LOOKING FOR YOU!?!?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?!!???

Me: AT THE AIRPORT. WAS GONNA FUCK OFF TO AMERICA. CHANGE OF PLANS. LONG STORY. LOST KELLIN. MUST FIND. IDEAS!?!!?????!!!!!

Wifoo: O FUCK. UH. HE CANT HAVE GONE FAR. LOOK AROUND OUTSIDE, TRY FIND HIM ASAP!!!????!!!

Me: WILL DO. LISTEN IMMA LEAVE MY STUFF BY THIS BLUE BIN OUTSIDE THE AIRPORT SO I CAM GO FIND KELLIN, CAN YOU COME PICK IT UP????!!!???!

Wifoo: SURE. NOW GO FIND YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND

Me: K

I shove my phone back in my pocket and start to run out of the airport, slipping and stumbling over the perfectly smooth floor. Once outside, I drop all my luggage by the blue bin beside the door and break off into a brisk jog. I know I said this bitch dont run for nobody, I should've probably said this bitch dont run for nobody...EXCEPT KELLIN. Its literally like 6am how the fuck am I supposed to find anyone!?! I run a hand through my hair, feeling completely lost, until I get an idea. Where would Kellin go if he lost all hope!?! The only place he could successfully escape. Escape reality. Escape pain. Escape life itself. He told me himself, he cant live without me now, and as far as he knows, I dont want him, so he doesnt want to live. He wants to die. FUCK. NO. I run as fast as my teeny tiny legs will carry me, and I reach the bridge in record time. At first, I cant see anyone. Its still kinda dark here, the sun is only now rising, which helps. I spin in a full circle, trying to find him, and when my eyes land on him...my stomach flips. And not in a good way.