A team holiday

Ziva POV: i told Tony everything about my daughter about what happened about how this day effects me each year. It was hard but he wanted to know so I told him. "She will be turning 5 next month starting school making friends growing up, and I can never watch her do that because she's gone. Tony I've been living with this pain and hurt for so long that I drove my father away caused a barrier between us. After I buried Mila I tryed to stay I really did but I couldn't I couldn't bear to be in Tel Aviv any longer so I left it hurt to stay there. All I lost all I went through was in that city. When I left my father was disappointed and wouldn't speak to me we are still like that today. I hate my self for what happened to my daughter, between my father and I. We used to be so close till I left. I just want it all back." He has that 'how do I reply to that' expression on his face. It's a lot to take in I wish I didn't throw it all out there at once. "Ziva I can't even imagine what you have gone through. What you go through every year. I don't even think I can propaly take all of this in to be honest. I don't know what to say or how to make it better for you. I am really really sorry. Why didn't you tell me you are or were a mom?" "It's hard to talk about it I try not to. I think about her and how we were everyday. The memories I have of my baby flood my dreams every night. There is nothing you can say or do that will make it better. But having someone else who knows about her about what happened makes it a little easier to deal with now. So thank you" "no of course any time Ziva. I'm still quite stunned its going to take a while for all this to sink in." He's a good friend, my bestfriend I know he will probably never understand all of this but I can see he is trying. I don't know wht I would do without Tony....next I guess is to tell Gibbs, I noticed him watching me extra closely today he can tell something is up.