A step closer to Jannah [Book I]

Falling in Love | FIQH OF LOVE

Asalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabrakatuh, these points are taken from the book:
'Fiqh of Love: Marriage in Islam by Shaikh Yasir Birjas'.
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Falling in love:

قال رسول االله صلى االله عليه وسلم للعباس عمه في قصة مغيث وبريرة: "يا عباس ألا تعجب من حب مغيث بريرة , وبغض بريرة مغيثا؟"

The Messenger of Allah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam was telling his uncle Al Abbas the story of Mugheeth and Bareerah, he said: "O Abbas! Isn't it amazing how much Mugheeth loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah hates Mugheeth?"

* Excess of love cause loss of shyness *

Prophet SalaAllahu 'alayhi wasalam and telling the story of Bareerah (slave girl) and Mugheeth (owner) to his uncle Al-Abbas. Aisha bought the slave girl and freed her. Mugheeth married Bareerah, but she left him. Mugheeth loved her so much and was crying in public for her. Prophet (s) was asked to intercede and he asked Bareerah if she wanted to take him back. She didn't want to take him back and Prophet (s) was fine with this, so Mugheeth spent the rest of his life crying for her. Mugheeth was acting on his own human nature - Prophet (s) did not prohibit his actions because he saw it was out of Mugheeth's hands. Prophet (s) felt mercy for Mugheeth because of his love for Bareerah.

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The mystery of the 'in-love' case:
-Love is the nutrition for the soul
-Love is illusive - because it does not last forever and attachment to
physical characters
-The average romantic life is 2 yrs "In Love" is a temporary emotion

The gradual levels of love:
Al Mayaa - inclination of heart
Al Hawwa - desire
Al Mawaddah - love
As Sabawa - obsession
Al Walaa - madness
Al Guyam - craziness
Antatayyum - the highest level of admiration/love

The means of nurturing love. How to keep love alive?:
-Think love is action, practice it on a daily basis
-Love is like a tank, and you need to fill it periodically
-Love is also like a bank account, you need to deposit in early days
of marriage, that way you can withdraw it in your middle age
crises.
-Confession - Say "Honey I love you", say it sincerely and don't lie. Correspondence is good - try doing it. Sahaba's used to do it often. Ex.
-Gifts, flowers, post cards
-Mutual obedience and respect from your spouse
-Acts of amusements

What harms love?
-Exploitation of affection
-Acts of disrespect
-Slanderer - creating Fitnah out of jealousy and ignorance
-Long and unnecessary distance
-Infidelity and betrayal
-Television/computer

Sex, passions and love: are they synonymous?
No, Women think of love as empathy and sympathy from their husband, while men think of sex.

Sexual intercourse can harm love?
A sinful relationship will cause animosity and hatred, but this relationship (sex) that is halal will increase love between husband and wife.

Decency or indecency?
The inclination to the desire is equal for the men and the women. Both have the choice to guard their chastity. If you expose yourself to the sinful path, you will be punished especially if you are in an area of righteousness.