tinted // l.p.

Chapter 19

"Well, that's a lot... to take in."

"I'm sorry - i shouldn't have told you i-i just didn't know who else to tell i mean i obviously can't tell Liam and i don't know anyone else an-"

"I'm the only one who knows?"

"Basically.."

"I feel honored, honestly. That's a lot to bare all on your own... I can't imagine how it was - I mean I understand why you lied about those things, but why didn't you tell anyone about Miles? Could've gotten him thrown in jail."

I shake my head slowly, fidgeting with my fingers. "No, he would have killed me, had me killed... but i loved him so I-"

"Honey, that was not love."

I bite the inside of my cheek, nodding my head. I know it wasn't love, but i had been convinced it was for so long - i just got used to saying it was.

"You know, you have to tell Liam."

I chuckle harshly, throwing my head back. "Yeah because that worked out so well with my brother. Liam's just gonna leave me and Miles is going to make me his bitch again" I shake my head, smiling widely at how pathetic my life is. "And then he's probably gonna fuck me while chocking me till i black out again, oh! maybe he'll tie me up and gag me again because i accidentally walked in when he had a meeting with a client - i didn't eat or drink for two weeks. Can't wait for it again" i state sourly, a frown replacing my grin in a matter of seconds as the memory runs fresh in my mind. 

"Ira-"

"Or maybe he'll beat me till my ribs crack, fuck me then take me to the hospital and said i was raped."

"Ir-"

"Liam's probably gonna slap me and ask me to leave. I'm used to it - so it wont be much of a surprise to be honest. It's not like Liam's in love with me or anything so he has nothing holding him back"

"I think you're wrong." Louis shrugs, taking a gulp of his tea.

"How am i wrong?"

"I think Liam loves you. And you love Liam. But you're scared, scared he'll hurt you like MIles - and your dad."

I shake my head, biting my lip. I want to laugh at Louis. Tell him he's wrong, tell him that no one would love a fuck up like me, that I'm not scared, that i know he'll hurt me like Miles did. Maybe not physically but he will, i know he will.

"Its funny the way love works, I mean it's like you two are meant to fix each other. Liam's just as broken as you are" I roll my eyes, we're not in love Louis. Get it through your fuckin' head already.

"I mean he probably thinks you'll hurt him too. After Dani... I didn't think he'd even consider opening up to anyone."

"Dani?" 

"He never told you?"

I shake my head, biting off a bit of toast Louis had brought me.

"I think you should ask him. I think you two should have a sit down and talk about eachother's pasts - they're both kinda fucked up, no offence."

"none taken"

--

"hold on tight"

"I'm not gonna fall am I?"

"Not unless you let go of me. Don't worry babe, you're safe."

"I don't doubt it"

"Maybe next time i'll teach you how to ride? It's just a motorcycle."

"Just a motorcycle?! Hah! Not everyone is as bad ass as you, Miles."