Smokescreen (mpreg)

CH 37

Liam's POV

I sat outside Zayn's house, I have never, ever been more terrified in my entire life, but this needed to happen.  I needed to tell him the truth, not just for my sake but for my friend's too.  I placed my head on the steering wheel of my car taking, deep breaths when I saw Zayn's front door open.  He came out with a cig in his mouth and a lighter in his hand, probably coming out for a smoke, he immediately recognized my car though. 

"Liam I didn't know you were coming!" he said walking over to my car "You want to come inside? I'm home alone, we can call for a pizza".  As usual my heart stopped when I saw Zayn, but this time I got sick to my stomach too, I was so scared.  Zayn looked at me curiously since I still haven't said anything, he smiled before opening the car door "Don't make me have to carry you out".

I managed a weak smile and stepped out of my car, Zayn threw an arm around my shoulders and it took all my willpower not to placed my head on his shoulder "You alright mate?" he asked,  I just nodded and Zayn smiled "You're probably just hungry, lets order that pizza" Zayn said as we went into his house. 

We ended up in his room, as usual, with the pizza untouched on his dresser, he sat on his bed flipping through the title list for Netflix "So looks like the only good movies are Transformers or Big Hero 6" he said after scrolling through the titles a second time.  "Whatever you want Zayn" I said as I laid on my stomach, picking at his blankets

Zayn laid down on my bed, he was close enough that I could feel his body heat but we weren't touching.  I pretended to scratch my side as an excuse to get closer to him; our sides and shoulders were now pressed together but he didn't move away.

"You know Zayn, I've been thinking...it's kinda weird what happened to Harry isn't it?" He looked at me "What do you mean?" "Well it's just that he left so suddenly" I shrugged.  Zayn snorted "Who knows what queers think, or if they even think at all".  "Yeah..." I said as I looked away and took a deep breath

"Zayn I'm gay" I blurted out, I just couldn't hold it back any longer.  Zayn just chuckled though "Yeah ok Liam, anyways be quiet this is one of my favorite parts of the movie".  "Zayn" I said again, and as he looked at me I gave an unsure smile.  Zayn's eyes went wide before he got up and start pacing the room "No, No, No Liam no...you're not".

I just laid there was Zayn got himself worked up, it wasn't long before he was shouting "Liam when did this happen!? Was it because of Danielle!? What did Harry say to you!? This is his fault isn't it?!"

"Zayn please calm down" I said as I stood up, he turned to face me "When did this happen?" He asked, he was so angry his eyes were actually tearing up.  "I don't know Zayn, I just realized one day that I felt...more than friendship for you, and what I felt for Danielle doesn't even compare to what I feel for you" I said truthfully. 

Zayn shoved my chest so hard that I fell backwards on the bed "Are you saying you're gay for me?!" he shouted,  he was actually shaking "Liam you're my best friend and you betrayed me like this?!"

"Zayn this isn't...it's not a punishment or some-" "Shut up!" he shouted as he threw a lamp at the far wall from his desk, away from him and me "Just stop talking!"  He pounded the drywall with his fist so hard that it cracked and continued shouting "Liam don't you know how hard life is for gays!? It's why I separated Louis and Harry, to protect my friend!  Gays get beaten up in the street or worse and no one even cares, I don't want that to happen to my friends; least of all you!" I was confused by what he was saying, was he upset because I was coming out or because he was afraid for me? Both?

Zayn turned to face the window, still shaking "So what? Are  we boyfriends now?" he asked in an angry quiet voice, spitting out the word boyfriend.  I was shocked, what was his logic? He walked over to me and tore off his shirt "This is what you want right?" He said before he smashed our lips together and pushed me to the bed again.