Autumn Leaves (An Ed Sheeran Fanfic)

The Truth

"Ed? Can I come in?" I knocked gently on Ed's bedroom door.

"Yeah." I could hear him whisper.

Catiously I opened the door and a messy room was revealed. All of Ed's Lego was scattered across the floor and the contents of his wardrobe was thrown in a big heap on the carpet. A shelf was broken and pieces of wood were smashed on the floor.

Ed had obviously done this to his room.

"What happened?" I ran to Ed where he sat with his head in his hands on the side of his bed.

I didn't recieve a reply from him therefore I acknowledged he didn't want to talk just yet.

We sat in silence as I studied his cluttered room for a few minutes.

"I know why." Ed croaked.

"Know why what?" I asked confused.

"Gosh, I should've stopped him." he began to cry again.

"Ed, what are you on about?" I asked. Clearly he was talking about Jake though. It had been 2 days since his death and Ed had barely left his room.

"Nothing. I'm talking nonsense.Talk Jess, about anything I don't care what. Just keep talking to me so I can take my mind off things." Ed pleaded.

"OK. Erm..." What could I say? I thought for a few seconds. "Seeing Jake made me think of my mum. She was carried out on a stretcher like that." I told him."I never told you how she died, did I?"

Ed simply shook his head no.

"She was very ill. She had cancer you see. Day by day she got weaker and weaker. It was scary to watch. Knowing that one day she would be so weak she would... you know...die." I told him.

"Seeing Jake in that stretcher was just like seeing my mum. She was lying down on her bed watching TV. I thought she had just fallen asleep. Then I noticed she wasn't breathing. All I could do was call an ambulance. I was so frightened. I felt so useless. There was nothing I could do." I was unable to talk for any longer. I just couldn't.

"It wasn't your fault." Ed surprisingly spoke.

"And Jake... you know... dying, that wasn't your fault." I told him.

"But it was..." Ed trailed off.

"What do you mean it was your fault? We don't know what happened to him. We don't know why he died just yet." I told Ed.

"I do." a single tear trickled down his face.

"Ed? What are you talking about?" I was beginning to get worried.

"I think...I think I know why he died." Ed mumbled.

"What?"

"You know Mr Jacobs?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, Georgia told us about him at the dance. He got arrested, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, thats him. But why did he get arrested?" Ed asked me.

"For selling illegal drugs to...pupils. Ed? You're not saying Jake..." I suddenly realised.

"Yes. Loads of us just bought some off Mr Jacobs to try. Just a one off thing... but Jake, he kept buying and buying. I told him to stop but..." Ed's throat caught and he was unable to talk.

"Drugs!" I was shocked. I knew loads of people at school took it, but not Jake and Ed.

"It was supposed to be a laugh. I didn't know Jake would carry on taking it. I should have stopped him." Ed wailed. "Its all my fault!"

Ed started to cry rivers once again and I held him close.

"Its not your fault Ed." I whispered in his ear whilst he sobbed.

"It is!" Ed cried.

"It isn't. He should have been wise enough to stop." I told him.

I couldn't believe it. Jake didn't seem like the type to resort to drugs. He died so young. I kept thinking, what if Ed didn't stop? That could have been him. I shook the thought out of my head instantly.

Ed was an absolute mess. What could I do to take his mind off this? He thinks its his fault Jake died, although it was stupid of them to take drugs in the first place.

"Do you hate me?" Ed asked quietly.

"No. Although you're an idiot for taking whatever you took, I don't hate you. It wasn't your fault Jake died." I told him.

"Thank you Jessica." Ed smiled.

He laid down on his bed and patted the space next to him. I laid down beside him.

I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. Although his chest was a little damp I felt safe all my worries flew away. I could tell Ed felt the same because his breathing became steady as he fell into a deep sleep. I knew he hadn't slept in a while.

I knew in that moment that no matter how hard things would get, Ed and I were indestructable...