Autumn Leaves (An Ed Sheeran Fanfic)

The Suicidal Argument

It was the first day back at school for Ed and I since Jake's passing. The whole of year 11 were having an assembly to remember Jake. Today also happened to be Jake's funeral which Ed refused to attend. We were both invited but if Ed wasn't going, niether was I.

"We are all here today to remember the football team captin, aspiring artist and loving friend Jake Allard. He was such a lively young lad..." the headmaster continued. The atmosphere was tense.

"The reason of his death has now become apparent and we as a school are eblidged to address you of these reasons." the headmaster informed the assembly.

Ed and I looked at each other. I gave him an assuring smile and carried on listening to the teacher.

"Jake died of substance abuse. Something we do not tollerate at school. We have reason to believe he was sold heroin from a former teacher at the school. We hope his passing is a lesson to you all. Taking drugs is harmful and has deathly consequences." he had a serious look on his face.

"Let us all now take a moments silence to remeber Jake."

The whole assembly room became silent and had their heads bowed.

I began to think of Jake. When we first met, how he had me ask Georgia out for him, how he helped get Ed and I together. Although I had only known Jake a few weeks, he meant a lot to me. He was my friend. Now he was dead.

I heard sobs coming from behind me and saw Georgia in tears, crying in her friend Lily's arms. I felt so sorry for her. Ed noticed Georgia too and stood up from where he was sitting.

The whole room stared at him.

"I'm so sorry!" Ed wailed and ran out of the hall. Quickly, I chased after him.

He ran into a corner and sat down crying his eyes out.

"Ed..." I started.

"Oh just don't Jess! Stop with the whole 'its not your fault' thing. Stop! I don't deserve your pity! You're so naive! Just because your mother died you think you're the expert on dealing with death. Well you're not! Just fuck off!" Ed screamed at me. I had never seen him so angry. It frightened me.

"What the fuck Ed? You're being so pathetic! I understand that your friend died-" I began.

"There you go again!" Ed interupted. "You don't understand anything! You didn't know Jake! Not how I knew him! You came along and I stopped hanging around with him. The last few weeks I had left with my best friend and you took them away." Ed yelled through his tears.

"You are just trying to find someone else to blame now! Its not my fault he did heroin and died! The fault is all his!" I screamed at him.

"Oh just fuck off Jessica! Leave me alone!" Ed yelled. "No one wants you, not even your own family!"

"And what about your family?" I raised my voice even higher. "At least I had my mum."

"And where is she now? Thats right, she's dead!" Ed yelled.

"I thought you were stronger than that. You aren't the boy I thought you were." I calmly said. "Goodbye Ed."

With that, I walked away from Ed with a broken heart.

I walked out of school with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't be bothered with school. I couldn'tbe bothered with anything in fact. I couldn't be bothered with life. I was feeling shit.

I had no one. No family. No friends. Nothing. What was the point of living when all life brought you was pain? Life sucked and I didn't want to live in a life that sucked.

I silently opened the door to Oakwood so Mark couldn't hear me coming in.

I tiptoed up the stairs wiping away all my tears and stormed into my room. I was beginning to get light headed from all my crying.

I raced towards my wardrobe and got out my most smart outfit. It was what I wore to my mum's funeral. The thought of it reminded me all that I had lost. I was alone.

I get dressed then open the huge window in my room on the top floor of the home. I look down at the deep drop and begin to shake.

I raise my hands to the cloud to see if heaven is with me now.

My toes curl clutch to the edge. Filled up with regret.

It was now or never.

I jump off the window ledge and let the darkness take me...