Tell Me You Love Me

31: Trying To Make It Work but, Man, These Times are Hard.

Hi everyone! Sorry, you're probably not going to be happy because this chapter is really short and I know it has been a week since I last updated but I can promise, this chapter is really intense. You might hate me. Please don't hate me because I love you and if you hate me, then that is mean.

Also, did anyone notice that last chapter I actually wrote the title as "Chapter Thirty:..." instead of "30:..." like I normally do? xD I just saw that the other day and I was like...Whoa...funny hehe.

Anyway, Enjoy.

You probably know the song, its called For the First time by the Script...such a good song.

Xxx Lucy

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Jesse’s P.O.V

I stand in front of the white screen, carrying my acoustic guitar with my left hand, dragging it along the ground and the middle and second finger on my right hand pressed to my lips. I stare into the camera which flashes violently at me.

‘Wide eyes, Jesse. Look alive, chin up!’ The camera man calls out. Dan stands next to him, his arms folded and his brow furrowed as he watches me doing the photo shoot.

‘Jesse, look like you’re in love,’ the obnoxious camera man yells out; his voice echoes around the studio. 

Dan leans over and I hear him whisper ‘Don’t say that,’

After my meltdown with my family and Josh, no one has mentioned Beth or love itself. Whenever someone brings up love, they play it down as soon as it erupts. Its more or less a ghost subject now.

‘I think we should take out the guitar,’ Dan says, pointing out the guitar which I'm awkwardly holding.

‘Yeah, I agree,’ the photographer says and someone runs into the white papered area and grabs the guitar from me.

‘OK, Jesse, your tie is wonky,’ the photographer says and I pull at the ebony tie around my neck. They’ve put me in a mid-night black suit with a white blouse underneath it with a matching black tie.

‘Keep attentive, Jesse!’ Dan says snapping his fingers. I try to put on my sexy smirk at the camera but it doesn’t work. ‘Do your smirk.’ Dan says, helplessly

I ignore him, I try to smirk at the camera but it doesn’t feel right. I know I look ridiculous. 

‘Okay...’ the photographer says. ‘Just drop the weird face smiling smirking thing...it’s not really working,’

I loosen the tie around my neck and unbutton the top button, zoning out of the photographer and Dan’s conversation.

‘OK...Jesse, take five.’ The photographer says.

Dan looks at me. I know he knows that I can’t do my best because of Beth. I walk off the set and to my jumper which is slung over a chair. I pull out my iPhone.

I have two new messages. I click on the first one, noticing its from Paris. I groan inwardly, what would she want. I notice it’s a multi message. A picture. I click on the first one and I gasp. Its a picture of a couple. Only, I knew the girl too well. Beth. She lies on the ground on her back while the guy sits comfortable on her hips. His hands are just above her chest and she looks as if she’s laughing.

‘Oh...my...god...’ I click on the next picture.

Beth stands in the park, her right hand cupping a strange guy with dark hair and pale skin’s face while her left hand is resting on his chest. His lips are on her neck and her head is slightly tilted back.

‘No...no...’ I say and I click on the next one of her kissing the stranger.

I call her straight away. What has she done?!

Luckily, she picks up on the third ring. ‘You cheated on me?!’ I yell, my voice strained. ‘Why would you cheat on me? I thought you loved me!’

‘Jesse...I ...er, we should talk,’ she says, quietly. I know she’s in her bedroom because the silence is deafening. I can hear her typing on her laptop.

‘You think?!’ I yell, ‘I trusted you! I trusted you that when you said that you would never cheat, that you wouldn’t but now I see you’re actually cheating on me behind my back!’

‘Jesse! I didn’t cheat on you!’ she says, sounding shocked.

‘Bethany, don’t give me the shock horror “I have no idea what you’re talking about” voice because I know you know! Paris sent me the photos of you with your friend in the park. I have evidence that you were cheating on me!’

‘Jesse!’ she cries out.

‘Don’t “Jesse” me. I trusted you! I thought you loved me the way I love you! I thought when you said that you never wanted to be with anyone else in your life, that meant that it would just be us!’

‘It’s not as if you haven’t cheated on me either!’ she suddenly shoots back.

‘I never cheated on you because I never wanted to hurt you! But I see how it is now!’

‘Really?! Well, what about that time when you were at Paris’s place and you kissed her on her doorstep?!’ she yells.

‘That was different!’ I yell. I can't believe she was turning this on me. I am not the villian. I didn't do anything. I am the victim.

‘Really, Jesse? Really?!' she says in an acusatory tone. 'The whole world thinks that you two are going out and I’m supposed to sit here like I don’t even care?! How do you think I felt when every day I got told my boyfriend is slow dancing with some other random girl at his concert?! I just needed to feel loved!’ she finally spits out.

‘So you did cheat, then?’ I yell.

‘It wasn’t cheating! He dared me to kiss him and I did! He threatened me!’ she cries and I can hear her crying on the other side of the line. ‘How do you think I feel knowing that why I’m cooped up here in a small town, you’re off with the whole world believing you're going out with Paris? How does that make me feel? Just put yourself in my shoes for once!’ She yells.

I pause. She was right. ‘Beth...don’t do it again. If you do...’ I pause. ‘...if you cheat again, we’re over.’

‘Whatever!’ she cries. ‘End this now! I don’t care anymore. You’ve been gone for weeks without talking to me! It’s almost as if I’m just the secret girlfriend who can’t even go out in the sunshine anymore without people staring after me!’

‘I don’t want to end this now.’ I admit, suddenly feeling scared. ‘And that’s not entirely true. I send you love messages every day. I bought you a necklace costing at least a thousand dollars to show you how much I love you! I cry every night because all I want is to see you and you repay me by going off and making out with some random guy!?’

She pauses. ‘Jesse, I need a break,’ she finally whispers.

I sigh deeply. She was right. ‘Me too...let’s just...forgive and forget,’

She pauses again. I can hear her thinking and for a moment, my heart misses a beat.

‘No, Jesse. I meant...' she pauses again before continuing. 'I meant I need a break...from "us",’