The Tuxedo Man (boyxboy)[Wattys 2016]

Chapter 17 - Hearts Without Chains

[Picture: Braydon Keane Raines. Video: There's Too Much Love (The Way He Looks) - Belle And Sebastian.] 

I froze. 

He stood there in front of me as I looked up at him in awe, my mouth slightly ajar as I let everything settle in for a moment, trying to process everything that's happening right now. 

I couldn't think of any possible way he'd find out about this song, that it was the song I'd love eternally. Maybe he likes Belle and Sebastian too, but of all the songs they've sold, why would he choose this one? It couldn't be a coincidence, the probabilities are too small for this to be a coincidence. He has to know, and he had to figure out at some point. 

I took his hand without another word. 

I wanted this, right?

I wanted him to be into me, right? 

He pulls me in, holding each other in the same way Eric and I were, our right hands clasped against each other, fingers intertwined while our left hands were placed gently on each others' waist. We step from side to side with the beat as his reminiscent scent hits me, the smell that's all over his clothes and his bed, it's soothing, and it's nice to be greeted by it once again. 

I couldn't help but feel like I wanted this, that I wanted him. I feel complete now, and I feel like I could die happy. I feel like the missing piece of me has now been found, and all along it was him, Dylan James Callaghan, but I never knew. I never knew he was going to be such a beautiful man, I never knew he was going to be a big guy, a person of authority, I never knew he was going to live in a mansion and have a butler work for him, I never knew he was going to drive a Lamborghini and run a company and twenty. 

I never knew I needed him. 

I dare myself not to think about Eric now, allowing my emotions to flood away from any restrictions and moral values I once knew, letting myself drown in the present and be totally immersed in the dance the two of us are sharing. 

I didn't know what was so capturing about the song. Maybe it's because it was the soundtrack to what could be the most beautiful LGBTQ movie I've ever seen, one I've watched literally about seven times now and I still couldn't get enough of it. The story was wonderful especially the character development of the two protagonists, it was sweet and gentle, it was puppy love. Maybe it's that, because every time I hear the song memories from the movies flood my brain, making me feel generally better. It helps me with my mood swings, and it's usually enough to get me through a tough time. 

Sebastian's soothing voice was one more element that I loved about the song, he sang it as though he was dancing along inside the studio, making some of the words undecipherable, you know- like how Ariana Grande sings, but both sound amazing nonetheless. The violins in the soundtrack were simple, yet still blended in with the track very well that the orchestra could've been made of young people, and no one would still care. 

I see him lick his lips, which breaks my train of thought as I bring myself back to my physical body, holding Dylan's hand as we sway together, as one. 

I look up at him and see him look at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world. 

My hands start to grow cold, only now noticing how rough the palm of his hand was, how the muscles in his arm capture the light, how his chest rises and falls at a faster pace now. He wasn't much taller than me, not like the difference between my height and Eric's, he was at a comfortable stature, comfortable enough that I feel like he could protect me against anything. He wasn't a mountain, he wasn't a skyscraper, yet he was still enough for me. 

He leans down in one sudden movement, our foreheads smacking against each other as he presses his lips to mine. We stop moving and I pull back in reflex, a tingling sensation lingers on my lips. My heart stops, then begins to start beating again but now in a much faster rate, I remind myself to breathe as the room's temperature rises.