The Tuxedo Man (boyxboy)[Wattys 2016]

Chapter 21 - Let It Die

[Picture: Jordan Valencia. Video: War Of Hearts - Ruelle]

I wake up on a Monday morning only because it was too cold to bare. I'm wondering who turned the thermos down, but as I sit up on my bed I see that I've left the window open.

I groan before getting up and pushing it shut, looking around the room as my eyes scan for the clock, reading it only to be five in the morning. It was fair timing, giving me an hour to do anything I want before I get ready for school since I can't really fall back asleep anymore. 

Yesterday, my family and I went to a park to have a family picnic with some of our cousins coming around to have some fun. Max brought her current girlfriend, Janie, who'm we all liked to call Jane. All the while I was thinking how better the day would be if Dylan was there with us, if only I could introduce him to my family and they'd be okay with it. I'm sure Dylan would just blend in normally the way Janie already become part of the family, spilling jokes and experiences that she's had in the past. I came to know that she also plays the violin, so that's a guaranteed friendship right there. She was easy to talk to and had a very nurturing aura, something like a mom would have, which is a good thing since it should mean that she's good for a long-term relationship, something Max has been aching for. 

Janie and I were meeting up later at our place so that we could jam and talk about musician stuff. She's in the same college as Max but she's taking up performing arts. She told us that the two of them met at a school show, their seats were assigned next to each other which she believes could be because of destiny. They clicked, and it was perfect that Max was studying Production, she hopes to work with him not only as a musician, but also as a partner. I could get some insights on how college is for a musician for her, how hard and challenging the competition is with all the amazing musicians that already surround you, how many hours she has to practice a day just to keep up and how many times he practices in a week. 

I decide to go out for a walk, the sun hasn't risen and the streets were still dark, only illuminated by the streetlights that were still working. I tuck my hands in the pocket of my jacket after I slip the hoodie on. With earphones and Halsey's album playing, I explore the neighbourhood I once was always familiar with as a child. The people around here, the friends I've made and the memories we've shared all just seemed to vanish when High School started. 

_ . _

Nobody would shut up about Eric and I.

I hate it. 

I don't know. 

I don't know how I've managed to get myself caught in this web of having to choose between Dylan and Eric, because for the past seventeen years of my life my ass has been single and now that I have a man the universe decides to throw a dilemma at me. God dammit. 

I still feel something for Eric, that's absolute. I don't know if it's at the same degree for how I feel for Dylan, but I don't think it is since the latter boy and I have shared two kisses so far, and none with Eric. I don't know how to turn people down, it's something that I've struggled with all my life because I tend to agree to everything so that I could please the people around me. I didn't want anyone to have anything bad to say about me and I didn't want to make any enemies, but now I know better that you just simply can't get away with life being unharmed. You are bound to make enemies and you're bound to face problems and horrible people. You just have to keep your cool and not lose yourself in these situations. 

I don't know what to say to Eric, but I don't think I should bring it up just yet. I think I should just let things between us slide until there's nothing left to say, or until he's found another person he seems interested in and he'll eventually forget about me.