Letters (A Dark Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)

Chapter 27

A/N:

Hey guys, here's a longer chapter for you:)

*How close to 100 votes can we get? Shall we give it a go?;) If we get near to it, I'll do a long, double update this weekend!;)*

SO LET'S TRY FOR AS CLOSE AS WE CAN GET TO 100 VOTES!

Btw, do you want a list of songs that I listen to as I write the chapters? Let me know in the comments!

I recommend listening to 'Drunk - Ed Sheeran' and/or 'Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran' while reading this, especially Give Me Love during the second half! PLEASE do it, it gives more feeeeeels haha! Let me know if it added to it in the comments!

*DEDICATION TO A COMMENTER*

~L.

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*Trinity's PoV*

The blood rushed to my head as I heard Louis banging on the door repeatedly, the noise rattling my skull. What had just happened? We had only just made up last night. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Why had I said those things? Why hadn't I told him that No, I wasn't going to kiss anyone else, because now, thinking about it, I knew I wouldn't have. I would have liked to have thought that I was strong enough to, but the truth of the matter was that , deep down, I knew I would never.

My instant reaction was to lash back. When he had shocked me and told me that the reason he hadn't contacted me was because he thought it was what was best for me, the realisation that I was wrong had hit me like a tonne of bricks. My only defense to cover up my foolishness was to throw out a snide comment. Unfortunately, the comment had come out far worse than I had ever expected.

Louis' slams to the door failed to become less vigorous, and my ears were finding it hard to ignore. I couldn't tune him out. Every time I thought he had tired himself out, another round of hits would rain down on the surface of the door, which I was sure was getting weaker with each of his infuriated movements.

"Trinity!" I heard him call in between hits, his muffled voice leading me to suspect that he was leaning against the door, probably resting his forehead against the cool surface as he caught his breath.

The image alone made me unbelievably angry with myself. This was my own fault, but I was too cowardly to admit it. I buried my head deep in my arms and let out a frustrated scream, hoping the material of my hoodie would absorb it enough so that it was inaudible to Louis. 

A single tear slid down my cheek at a slow pace and I reached up to swipe it away, refusing to let myself cry. Much as I wished otherwise, my mind kept replaying what had just happened over and over again, a heart-wrenching cinema experience designed just for me, to remind me of my countless flaws.

Louis voice shook me from my terrifying thoughts.

"Trinity," he shouted, exasperated, "You can't run away from everything just because it doesn't go the way you want it to! This is real life, not some fucked-up soap show! Granted, it may be a fucked-up situation, but things don't always occur the way they do on T.V! I've given more of me to you that I have to anyone, ever, and you know that! You said you wouldn't leave me!"

His voice cracked on the last sentence, making it barely audible, but I heard it all the same. I attempted to contain my body-shaking sobs, but my efforts were all in vain. I let them envelope me. 'This is what you deserve,' I told myself, 'You brought this upon yourself.' 

He was right though, and that was the worst part. If the image of us arguing didn't haunt my sleep for the coming weeks, his last words would. That is, unless, I fixed this. Now. I had a choice. I could let him leave and pretend that I didn't care, hide away and lock up my emotions, let him move on like he deserved, or I could open the door and sort through this with him.

My subconscious was telling me that if I wasn't selfish, I would let him go and move on. He deserved much better than me. That way, he could go and find someone worthy of his time, patience and trust; someone that wouldn't betray him. Someone that could return what he was giving them. Someone that wasn't me.

But I was selfish. 

I struggled to my feet clumsily, running my hand over my face in a futile attempt to clear myself up before facing him. I wrenched the door open, only to be met with a pocket of cold air and the harsh truth that he had left.

He had given up on me.

No. No. No, a voice screamed from within me. This wasn't where our story was supposed to end. I wasn't finished with my fairy-tale, and I'd be damned if I let it end before I decided I was ready to. 

Grabbing my car keys, I sprinted to my car, pulling the door closed behind me. I didn't even bother to lock it. Nothing inside the confines of that house was more valuable than this right now. I had a mission, one I was defiant that I would not stray from.

My eyes shifted nervously the whole journey, calculating the damage that I had inadvertently caused. The speedometer told me that I was travelling faster than anyone on the road ever should, but it was the last thing on my mind.

My body steered the car towards the only place I could hope Louis was. I knew that him being at his house seemed too blatantly obvious to be realistic, but I had no other rational idea, and it was certainly worth a try.

My car skidded slightly as the tires flew over the gravel leading up to his house. I pushed myself out of the car as it came to an abrupt stop in front of the gate, and ran towards the keypad at the buzzer. My fingers grazed over the buttons, my brain having forgotten the code in the blind panic that I was in.

I thanked the high heavens as my brain kicked in and my fingers hurriedly punched in the numbers, slipping over the plastic encased buttons in my frazzled rush. The gates began to creak open, but I hadn't the time to wait. I pried the gates open with my fingers, or attempted to, and squeezed through the narrow gap that had opened in the short few seconds that, in that emotionally-destructive moment, had felt like a million years.

My feet found the way to the door themselves, stumbling every couple of steps, my arms flailing in front of me in a desperate attempt to regain my balance. Every ounce of composure I once had was long gone, the need to fix things greater than any desire to look normal.

I hammered unrelentingly on the door, my sobs bouncing off the door and echoing right back into my own ears, the sound only firing the self-loathing that resided within me at that current second. I was so lost in my own helpless nightmare that I didn't notice someone opening the door. I stumbled backwards onto my feet and pushed my hair back from my face, immediately pleading for Louis to keep the door open long enough for me to explain myself.

What I saw when I finally took notice of what lay in front of me tore me apart. There stood Louis, a distraught expression showing plainly on his worn face, his eyes swollen and red from crying, tears travelling down his pale, hollow cheeks and his nose running from the tears that he had clearly just shed.

I saw him open his mouth to say something as more thick tears rolled down his face, but I reached up and put my finger on his lips.

What I said next, I was barely able to choke out in a whisper between desperate cries. 

"No," I sobbed, "Now it's my turn to talk."

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A/N:

Thoughts? Did you put on the songs?

100 votes and 20 comments if we can?!:)

*DEDICATION TO A COMMENTER*

~L.