Here We'll Remain>>C.G

Part 21

Thea's PoV 

   The next day was I still bedridden. Carl had been true to his promise and has barely left my bed side. Even though I couldn't move, I really enjoyed being with him. Our relationship was amended, and it felt like nothing went wrong. That was until Rick came in with bad news. 

   A group was going to go out and take out Negan's compound. They wanted to end him and get it over with so Alexandria and Hilltop could live in peace. Everyone here in Alexandria that I cared about, Carl excluded, was going on this raid. There was a high possibility that not all of them would return. No amount of my pleading would convince Rick from not going. 

    I could see the worry Carl's eye. I masked the amount of fear, anxiety, and paranoia of them going. There's no way they could defeat Negan easily. I knew this was going to be rough night for the both of us. I wished I could go with them. I don't think I would be able to take the news of them not coming back. I would rather be out there, dying beside them. 

    I shook my head to clear all those thoughts away. The way I was thinking was that they were already dead when they haven't even left. These guys have been through a lot. If anyone could hold their own against Negan and his men it would be Rick and the group. I had to hold on to the hope that they would end it tonight. 

      Carl left me to go help everyone pack. I took that opportunity to take a shower. I haven't had one for a while. I was still covered in dirt, sweat, and blood from the fight and the trip to Alexandria. The pain it took to get up and get in the shower was severe, but I breathed through it. 

    I sat on the ground, the water falling over me like a warm summer's rain. My legs were outstretched so the water could reach the wound on my stomach. I watched the blood be washed away and into the drain. The stinging I felt from the streams of water hitting the open bullet hole was horrible. I dug my nails into my palms to stop me from covering it. No matter how much it hurt, I needed to clean it. 

     I sat in the shower for quite sometime. I just couldn't gather the effort to stand again and get out. The only motivation I had to do so was when a knock on the bathroom door reached my ears. I gripped the sides of the tub/shower and lifted myself to stand. I turned the water off and grabbed a towel. I covered myself up, despite I could already feel a fresh torrent of blood coming from stomach. I mentally cursed. All this moving around was not helping it heal and close. 

   I opened the door and Carl stood on the other side. He had his hand up in mid knock when he saw me standing there. His eye widened. I watched him struggle to keep it from wandering from beyond my eyes. I smirked. The throbbing in my stomach wasn't going to keep me from teasing him. I stepped forward and ran a hand down his chest. I leaned in real close, then turned my head to whisper in his ear.

"The bathroom is all yours." My hot breath made him shiver. I bit the lobe of his ear lightly and heard him suck in a breath. I grinned as I pulled away and saw his face was beat red. I patted his chest and walked away, laughing loudly all the way to my room. I heard him groan in frustration before he slammed the bathroom door shut behind him. 

     I was still giggling as I put a new bandage on and got dressed. When I say dressed, I mean just underwear and one of Carl's t-shirts, because the actual effort of putting on real clothes to just lie in bed was too much. 

    I got back in bed, but didn't lie down. I propped myself up with pillows, a smile on my face. I had a feeling that Carl was doing a lot more than just going to the bathroom or showering right now. My little show probably got Carl Jr. excited.

"Hey, Cowboy," I greeted him when he finally walked back into my room. He shot me a dirty look and sat down beside me. 

"You're evil," he muttered. I grinned and kissed him on the cheek. 

"You have no idea," I agreed. He leaned in really close and ran his nose up my neck to my jawline. I bit my lip. His hand lightly grazed up my arm, causing goosebumps to form. His head went back down and placed a kiss on my exposed collar bone. He trailed kisses all the way up to the corner of my mouth. 

"If you weren't hurt, I'd take you right now," he whispered. My eyes widened, a brand new sensation taking over my body. I have never felt this kind of physical attraction to someone in my life. Its like the pain in my stomach faded and was replaced with an overwhelming feeling of want. I almost begged him to just do it, but deep down I knew I shouldn't. 

"As much as I would like that, I would probably die of blood loss before we were finished," I joked breathlessly. He chuckled and kissed me on the lips quickly before he backed up. My erratic heartbeat finally slowing down now that we were at a normal distance apart. We both fell into silence after that. Both of us in thought. 

"If you weren't shot. Would you have gone with my dad tonight?" he asked. I nodded my head.

"I don't like killing people. Trust me, I do it when I have to. I mean, I just killed someone yesterday. But, I'd go. I've seen what Negan does to people up close and personal. I don't want anyone to go through that ever again. He's a disease that needs to be cured. The only way to do that is to kill him," I told him bitterly. He nodded.

"What do mean you've seen what he's done up close? Have you met him?" he asked. I looked down at my lap. 

"About two years ago, now. I was on a run with Merle Dixon and, um, my boyfriend, Rory. Rory and I got separated, so we were left to wandered the woods. We were trying to find our way back to Woodbury. Negan found us. He didn't know me, but he knew Rory. Rory was originally from Hilltop, but didn't want to go back once he met me. He didn't have any family there anyways. Negan had been looking for him for awhile. He was apart of a group that had tried to screw Negan over. 

"The two of us were easily overpowered. His men held me back as he made me watch him bash Rory's skull in with a barbed wire baseball bat. He enjoyed watching me and other people in general in pain. He feeds off the screams of his victims as they call out for their loved one. He let me go after that. Wanted me to tell everyone of what he has done. Rory was just an example to him," I told him.

     Tears pooled into my eyes at the memory. I felt a little uncomfortable telling Carl about Rory. I don't know why, considering he was dead, and Carl was the one that now held my heart. Carl reached out and cradled my face in both of his hands. 

"I'm so sorry, Thea. I could not imagine how you felt. If that were us, and you were murdered in front of me, I would go out of my mind. How have you stayed sane this long?" he asked quietly. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I met you, I guess. I loved Rory, but it was different. It's not the same love I have for you. You helped me forget all about my past and move on into my future. Our future," I smiled. He grinned and brought my face closer to connect our lips. It was a short, love-filled kiss. One that I would never forget. 

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      Night had fallen, and everyone had left. They all came in to say their good byes before they departed on their mission. No one knew how long they would be gone for or if they were even going to come back. I had hugged Daryl like it was the last time I was ever going to see him. 

    Carl moved Judith into my room, so we could all be together. She was fast asleep in her crib, but Carl and I were restless. The creeping feeling of worry surrounded my heart. The feeling of anxiety was drowning my brain. My fingers tapped relentlessly on my bed covers. Carl held me in his arms to try and comfort me, but my thoughts were constantly drifting. Imagining every possible scenario that could happen out there on the road. I was up until the wee hours of the morning, until I finally passed out from exhaustion.