Nothing Lasts Forever

Chapter 26

I see Robbie sipping his coffee. His gaze fixes on mine I try to look away thinking maybe I could turn around and walk away. It's too late he spots me and motions me to come sit with him. I pull out a chair and before I sit down he hands me a cup.

"I thought I'd get you a mocha since I know you like them and wouldn't want to wait in line." he says.

"Thanks." I quietly say.

"I didn't think you were actually going to come." he said.

"Yeah I didn't think I was either." I take a tiny sip from my coffee.

I shouldn't have come this was such a bad idea.

"I'm glad you did though. I want to talk to you. I need to tell you everything that happened. I just want you to know the truth." he leans closer to me across the table.

"I just need closure Robbie. After this I'm done with you. I'm only here for answers." I coldly say looking into his eyes.

He sits back, "I just want you to listen to me. I'll start by saying I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"That night, after I faked sick from the date, you said you had some feelings for her-"

"Yes but my feelings for you were stronger than for Tori. When you gave me that choice I chose you." he said interrupting me but at this point I don't care.

"But your choice didn't matter at that point. I was so frustrated and angry at you I choose for myself." I sigh finally saying that. after having that bottled in for so long.

"I don't love Tori. I love you I still do." he tried to touch my hand but I quickly pull away. Knowing that his touch could make me fall in love with him all over again.

"Robbie you can't do this. I'm dating Dylan. You didn't fight for me at all. 3 months later you just pull the I love you card."

"I did fight for you. You just didn't notice. You ended this and didn't want me. I stepped back to give you space. I love you; did you think I wanted to let you go?" he told me.

I noticed how he said love not loved. It caught me off guard. He still loves me. It felt weird knowing I don't feel the same way. I can't feel the same way. It was just something about the way he said it.

"Why do you keep telling me this? What's the point of telling me you love me?" I ask him snapping out of my thoughts.

"I just have to let you know. I love you and always will." he said.

"This is such bad timing." I say with a hint of a laugh shaking my head.

"We do suck at this whole timing thing don't we?" he chuckles trying to ease up the tension.

"It's just not fair Robbie." I pull us back into a serious state quickly fading from my smile, "I've moved on from you I have a boyfriend now. I need you to stop popping into my life. I need to focus on him. Our chapter is over."

"I understand, but if you did move on from me, you wouldn't be sitting across from me." he leans forward.

Was he right? Did I still have feelings for him? I thought I got over him. I swore to myself that I did. This is such a mess. After everything he has put me through I went to him. This is crazy. I should not have come here, I should be with Dylan right now. It was a stupid reason to come here. At this point I'm thinking if I came here for closure or to see Robbie. I can't fall back into him. I've spent so much time trying to move away from him. But here I am sitting across from him. I didn't move on as far as I thought I did. I have to come clean with Dylan sooner or later. I can not have Robbie hanging over my head. I have to tell him everything.

"You can't do this to me. You can't play mind games with me. You can't trick me into anything. Robbie I'm in a happy relationship right now. You're messing with my feelings and I can't have that. I don't that need right now. Not with everything that's going on with Dylan and me." I push my chair out and start to get up.

"Wait! Where are you going?" he rushes up grabbing my arm.

"Home." I shake my arm trying to loosen his grip.

"We're not done yet. I have more to say." he begging me to stay as he tries to tighten his grasp as if he's trying to hold on to me one last time.

I yank my arm free and look into his eyes, "but I'm done."

__________

The phone rings I hesitate hoping I'm doing the right thing.  Maybe I could hang up and not tell him at all. Am I even doing the right thing? He should know right? The ringing stops and I hear static and then Dylan's voice.

"Hello?" he asks in a groggy voice as if he'd just woken up.

"Hi. Did I wake you?" I ask.

"Not really. I just got up. I'm still a little tired though." I hear him clear his voice.

"Hey can you come over? I need to talk to you." I quietly say.

I don't hear a response. The line stays quiet for a few minutes. I start thinking that he's hung up on me. I'm about to hang up when I hear him cough.

"Uh yeah sure. I'll be over in 15 minutes." he finally says and abruptly hangs up.

I sigh. My heart speeds up not knowing how to tell him everything that's happened. Every minute I feel more sick knowing that in 15 minutes he will know everything.