Nothing Lasts Forever

Chapter 28

I tried really hard. To push him into the furthest corners of my mind and play it off as it never happened. Why does he keep coming back? He is everywhere and no where. I don't get why I'm so mad he's back. I shouldn't focus on him anyway. I say this all the time. I tell myself I won't think about him and the next thing I know he's the only thing I think about. What we had was great but it's over and I need to focus on the guy who's giving me his heart and attention. Plus this whole Robbie wanting to get back with me is just benefitting him. He has no regard for my feelings whatsoever. It's all about him wanting me. Not about what I want no matter what I want. It's been weeks since he's tried to reach out to me. Why am I still thinking about him? There are plenty of other things to worry about. Not over some stupid guy. This war has been going on in my mind for so long I just need to drop it. No more whining around it's time to actually do what I tell myself. I delete Robbie's contact and block his number. I feel better once I've done that.

Tonight is the fall fair which is a big charitable event. I totally forgot it was tonight. Dylan said he'd pick me up at six it's five now. I put on a burgundy sweater and some black leggings. I quickly put my into a half up ponytail. The doorbell rings as soon as I finish putting on the last bit of my makeup. I run to open the door and see him standing there. With a goofy smile on his face. His face lights up when he sees me standing there.

"Wow. You look amazing as always." he kisses my cheek.

"Same goes to you." I blush.

"Are you ready to go? I'm really excited."

"I am too! Just let me grab my purse and we can go." I grab my phone and purse and when I go back to him he holds out his hand. I slip my hand in his and walk to his car. Something about my hand being intertwined in his makes this feel so right.

The minute I step onto the fair grounds my energy level shoots up. I feel like a little kid again. The lights everywhere amuse me. People laughing and having a good time made me feel cozy. Everything around me made me nostalgic. We went on all the rides there except the roller coasters even thought there were maybe only two, and Dylan won me a cute teddy bear. Dylan took my hand and lead me to the ferris wheel.

"I don't know if I can do the ferris wheel." I say with a shy smile.

"Please? If you get scared I'll hold you."

I pause thinking about the option I smile grows on my face and nod," That will work. But only if you protect me."

"Always will." he smiles taking my hand as we sit in the tiny carriage with leather seats. I sit next Dylan as close as possible hoping I don't fall out. My hand starts to shake as I feel the cart move up. Dylan holds my hand and rubs circles on the back of it. I close my eyes when I feel it moving up further. I'm too scared to look down but I know the view would be dazzling. When we reach the top it stops and I start to panic. Dylan brings me closer and holds me tight. I open my eyes and see the people below us. Everyone looks like ants. I see the lights. In that moment I forgot I was so high up the sight was breathtaking.

"The view is gorgeous." I gasp," everyone looks like ants."

Dylan laughs. I look up and see the stars. I have a wonderful view of the stars and lights. What could be better.

"I love you."

"You love me?" I gulp.

"Yeah. I mean who wouldn't?" he says, "you're kind, smart, beautiful, talented." he lists.

I don't say anything I just smile. We start to move back down and all I want is to get out.

"I know I sprung that on you. You don't have to say anything. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. If you wanted to know how I feel about you well... That's the answer."

The ride stops and I get off as soon as I could. I'm overwhelmed. Robbie was the only person that I said I love you with. It's stupid but it felt like our thing in the moment. Like we were invincible. It's not that I don't love Dylan it just sounds different when he says it. It's not a good or bad kind of different. It's just different.

"I have to go home." I tell him.

"Oh ok." he sounded sad.

"I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well at the moment."

"I hope it's not because I freaked you out."

"No. It's not." I lie, "I'm sure it's just something I ate. I'll be fine."

We walk back to his car. The drive was in silence but it was more uncomfortable than other times. He drops me off and says he'll call me. I nod and open my door and walk right to my bedroom.

I scream in frustration.

"You okay?" Lauren asks.

"I don't even know anymore. Everything is just really complicated."

"What happened?"

"He told me he loved me."

"What did you say?"

"I smiled because I had no idea what to say." I tell her.

"He's probably crushed!" she exclaims.

"I know, I know. The only person I said I love you to was with Robbie. I'm over him but I just couldn't bring myself to say it to him. I feel like I kicked him in the face."

"You basically did." Lauren says.

"I don't know maybe the whole Robbie thing scared me. It's not that I don't love Dylan it's just hard. I have no idea how to describe it."

"I get it. You don't want to replace Robbie. What you both had was special."

"It's like I want to love Dylan but of course Robbie is in the way again. I hate putting myself out there for one thing. I'm afraid I'm going to lose Dylan."

"Maybe he's thinking that about you too."

"But I don't want to say I love him for the heck of it. I want it to come naturally. When the moment is right."

"You'll figure out. I'm going to bed. Night!"

"Night."