I Just Want You

Chapter 30: What Hurts the Most

Chapter 30: What Hurts the Most

One Month Later...

I've been gone for a month. An entire month. I havent seen him or heard his voice in an entire month.

It's hard not thinking about him. I feel like a part of my heart has been torn from my body; and there's no way to fix it. I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. It's easiest when I'm busy during the day. But at night all the feelings come back haunting me. It's a never ending lonlieness that I can't escape.

I decide to call and catch up with my best guy friend. I only saw him a few times after the wedding. He always knows how to cheer me up. 

"Hey girl!" I hear his cheerful voice through the phone, making me smile.

"Hey Kyle." 

"Whats shaking chickadee?" He's so awkward sometimes, but that's one of his best features.

"Nothing new. What about you?"

"A lot less than you've got going on. I'm still stuck in good ole' Honeysuckle How's New York?"

"It's good..." I  trail off.

"I know you're lying. Tell daddy what's the matter?" I chuckle at him calling himself Daddy.

"It's not the city... The city's amazing.. It's just." I pause for a while trying to collect my emotions.

"It's not as glamourous without someone to share it with."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry darling."

"Kyle it's been a month. Will it ever get easier?" I hear him sigh through the phone. He doesn't answer for a while. Probably trying to figure out what to say.

"Do you want me to be completely honest Mel?"

"I suppose..."

"I think it gets easier for people who aren't meant to be together. I don't think it's going to get easier darling. You and Travis are destined to be together. I've never seen two people more passionate about eachother than the two of you."

I can feel myself crying. I don't answer for a few minutes.

I take a deep breath.

"I still love him..."

"I know darling. Please don't cry."

"He fixed me and then went and destroyed me. You don't destroy the person you love. He completely shattered my heart. How can I still possibly love him?" I continue sobbing.

"Because we can't choose who we fall for. No matter how hard you may try, he is always going to be the one."

"But why?"

"Only God knows sweetheart."

"I don't know if I can come back. I don't know if I can see him and then leave again."

"You have to come back."

"I won't be able to leave again. I need to learn to pick myself up and keep going. I refuse to be the girl who goes weak for love."

"I think you're wrong... You're the girl who is strong enough to put her heart on her sleeve, and to put it all on the line, just for the chance of happiness."

"Why should I go back? He probably hasn't changed."

"Do you know that for sure?"