I Just Want You

Chapter 37: What I Want

Chapter 37: What I Want

Melody's POV:

The next morning...

I woke up in unfamiliar surroundings, then I blinked a few times before the events of last night cam flooding back. I was laying in bed with Travis.. Naked

Oh god.. What have I done? I came here to break things off and, he  was just so... I look at him and see he is still sleeping. Good.

I untangle myself form his grasp and sit up, I look around the room for my shirt and I finally spot strewn across the room. I tip toe over to it and start getting dressed... It's not long before i'm interrupted.

A sleep filled voice breaks through the silence, "What are you doing?" He asks, while rubbing his eyes and a yawn falling out of his mouth shortly after.

"Last night didn't mean anything, so I'm just going to leave."

That woke him up.

"What do you mean it didn't mean anything?" He asks, anger seeping through his voice.

He stands up and shrugs on some , but his beautifully toned upper body is still showing.

"That's exactly what I meant, it meant nothing. We both were just thirsty and now we can have closure."

"So what your saying, is that you basically used me for sex because we hadn't had any in sixth months?"

I can tell he is getting very upset,. Is this what I really want, do I really just want it to be done like this? It's better of this way, I can't keep doing this. Even thugh last night meant more to me than any one night stand would, I have to keep moving on. But can I? It has to be this way.. I swallow, a lump forming and my throat as I say the words,

"That's exactly what I meant. It had no meaning."

There was a long and very awkward pause.

"You... This is unbelievable." He grunted and then stormed out of our pale blue master bedroom. I heard another door slam closely after signaling that he had exited the house.

I sat down on the bed with nothing but my blouse on. I put my head between my knees and started to cry for what felt like the millionth time. 

What had I just done?

Why would I say that?

I miss him, more than words can describe. Every day gets harder and harder; I feel like there is a burning hole in my heart.

I don't know what I want; but way deep down I think I really do. There are too many things I can't look past though, so many questions and so much that I'm unsure about.

Can we really move past all of this?

Can I really forgvie him?

Can he forgive me?

What's going to happen the next time that tragedy strikes?

Am I ever going to be able to stop running away, and will he ever stop chasing me away?

Can we really try to heal everything?

I know how I feel about him, and I know how he feels about me. But is that enough?

Is love enough?

Are we enough?

After everything we've been through,

Is it enough to want...

After all of the tears and the laughter.

After all of the pain and the sorrow after so many sleepless and dark nights.