I Just Want You

Chapter 21: He's Long Gone When He's Next to Me

Chapter 21: He's Long Gone When He's Next to Me

It has been a month since Dean died. Not much has changed in Travis. He started working again but that's about it. I was trying to take Silvia's advice and just give hime time. 

He has barely touched me. The occasional cold peck on the cheek or a pat on the back. It was like we were old buddies. Not like we were newly weds. I just want the old Travis back; and I fear I will never have him back.

I heard the door open and close. I realized that he's home. 

"Hi honey."

"Hi."

"I'm making your favorite for dinner. Italian." I grin at him, all he does is nod his head.

"Cool. I'm going to go get changed."

"Alright." I sigh when he leaves.

 A few minutes later he walks back in.

"So I was thinking, maybe we could get away this weekend. Drive down to the lake?"

"Not this weekend."

"Oh, alright."

We sit there in an awkward silence until dinner is finally ready.

We eat in silence for a while.

"Travis, talk to m."

"What do you want to talk about?" He says in a cold tone. 

I put my hand over his.

"How are you?" I look into his empty blue eyes.

"I am fine."

"Travis you are anything but fine."

"You are not me; you don't know how I feel."

"I guess you're right. That is why I am asking, you never talk to me anymore. It's like we're strangers living under the same roof."

"You're being ridiculous."

"No I am not Travis! You're long gone when you're next to me!"

He rolls his eyes. "Taylor Swift? Really?"

"Travis! Are you even listening? Do you even care?"

"I am trying to be patient and I am trying to help you get through this. But it is hard when you're not even making an effort."

He just sits there blankly without saying a word. I pick up the dishes and throw them in the sink.

"Goodnight Travis."

I walk into our bedroom and slide straight into the bed. I cry myself to sleep for the hundreth time that month. 

.....

The next morning I wake up to a sleeping Travis. He looks so innocent and young when he's asleep. I feel bad for everything I said last night, but he needed to hear it. 

I quickly get ready for work I have to be there early because my co-worker and good friend Ethan and I have a presentation to prepare for an editor that's coming to visit the office.

When I'm finished getting ready, I see Travis sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee staring blankly at the wall. 

He looks up and our eyes meet. I don't say anything. I just nod my head at him and exit the house. I cry on the way to work.

....

When I get to work Ethan immediately knows there's something wrong.

"Melody, are you okay?"

I bite my tongue to hold back the tears and just nod. I make my way to my office and he follows behind.

"What happened?" He questions softly.

I immediately start sobbing.

"It's all my fault. My marriage is falling apart. My husband is a stranger. He barely says anything to me. He doesn't touch me. He doesn't smile. He doesn't laugh. He is just a ghost sitting in our house. He barely even looks at me! I have been pushing him too hard. He just lost his brother and I am being completely inconsiderate..and.." I catch my breath.

He rushes over and hugs me.

"No none of this is your fault. It's been a month. You're worried and he's not making any efforts it sounds like. It's going to be okay Mel. I promise."

"You're a really good friend Ethan." I look up at him and he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. 

Ethan has a had a crush on me since before I met Travis; but I always just looked at him as a friend.

"We better go over the details of the presentation real quick." 

I nod at him and we don't speak about my personal life the rest of the day.

..... 

I get home to a ticked off Travis. He's pacing across the living room. I put my stuff down and then make my way towards the bedroom; but he says something.

"What you don't have anything to say Mel?" His tone is angry.

"Excuse me?"

"You had plenty to say this morning."

"I didn't say a word this morning."

"OH but you did at your office. Don't you remember?"

"I don't follow..."

"To your dear old friend Ethan. You guys looked pretty cozy in your office."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh don't play dumb! My brother dies and you cheat on me!"

"I cannot believe you! I was having a rough morning and Ethan was comforting me. That. is. all."

"Right."

"I went in to work crying because my stupid marriage is falling apart! Ethan happened to see me and he gave me a hug. That is all that happened."

"Your marriage is falling apart?"

"Yes. It is, and you are too oblivious to see it."

"You need sleep, you're starting to think crazy."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night Travis," I reply coldly. I slam the door to our bedroom and lock him out. But he makes no attempts to enter. 

Why me? We were married a week and then this happens. Why doesn't he love me anymore? My heart hurts. I can't think straight. I don't want this marriage to end in divorce; but it looks like that's where this is heading. I am trying to stick around; but I don't know how I can make an effort if he isn't willing to try. 

I take a quick power nap, and then go to the kitchen afterwards to eat a frozen dinner. I am not cooking for him tonight he can just forget it.

He is in the kitchen when I walk in. Great.

I don't say a word and I heat up a frozen meal. 

He speaks up when I'm about to exit the kitchen.

"Melody, I hope you know you're being ridiculous."

"And I hope you know I am trying to be understanding." 

He doesn't say a word and I take that as my exit.

.....

This same routine continues the entire rest of the week. No words are spoken and we both eat frozen dinners all week. 

Little did I know things might change for the better or worse that Friday.

***End of Chapter 21***

Read, Follow, Comment, Vote!