Letters I'll Never Send

Dad

Dad, 

I just can't seem to understand why you aren't doing what you know that you need to. It has been over a year, and you still act like everything is going fine and that everything will be fine. 

But it's not. And it won't.

Why didn't you listen to me when I told you that that transfer was a bad idea? Why weren't you more concerned with my break down, even after you assured me that nothing would change? We weren't moving, I wasn't switching schools, everything would be the same. But for some reason, I felt totally and completely scared for my future. 

And rightfully so.

Because they fired you. You were the best damn employee, but you couldn't get their impossible numbers in their impossible time frame, and so they made you leave. 

That was just the beginning.

You were without a job for a few weeks until you met Tim. He gave you a manager position in his wing place and told you that you'd get a promotion in 90 days. He said that you would get higher pay, bonuses, and get to manage his donut shop as well. 

90 days passed, and you still had crap pay. But it was enough to get us by as long as we moved into a cheaper house. So we did.

But Tim and his family were crazy. And they fired you as well. 

So then you went and worked for Mom's brother for a few weeks in November and December so that we could have a Christmas. And after that, Mom's old friends from Florida wanted to know if you would be interested in working in their cell phone store.

They didn't give specifics, but we drove to Florida for a weekend so that you could have a meeting with them. It took three hours, and we were happy to know that you had a job.

Except, that job was just as a salesperson and you made less money than Mom--who didn't even make that much. They said that you would become a manager and work your way up in the company. But it's been months, and you still sell phones and accessories. 

So Mom had to get a second job.

And that still isn't enough to support us. So Mom said that she's going to have to sell her Thomas Kinkade paintings that she loves so much.

Do you not see what's wrong here? 

Oh wait, I forgot to point out what was wrong.

The thing is, you COULD be making more money, you just choose not to. What do I mean by that, exactly? You don't want to go back into the restaurant business because you "don't want to wake up early." But if you just would suck it up and apply, you'd instantly get a manager position doing something you're good at and pays well. But you don't want to. Because you want to sleep in. Because you don't want to fail again. Because you're lazy.

And I'm sorry Dad, but do you honestly feel okay just sitting back and watching my over-worked mother spend her one free hour panicking over how we are going to pay the bills, knowing the whole time that all the problems could be solved if you just used those connections you have? Because if you only tried, you would be snapped up instantly! I mean, you did win the last restaurant you worked at EVERY AWARD IT'S EVER GOTTEN. So why are you scared? Why won't you do what needs to be done? Why are you going to just let your wife sell the the things that she loves almost as much (if not more than) as she loves her kids? She's spent years collecting those paintings. She's even got a signed one. 

And you're just going to let her throw them away because you're too lazy to help this family like you should.

I do love you, don't get me wrong, but this is all...

If you would have just listened to me last year and told your boss you'd rather not go to that other store, then none of this would be happening. 

None.

Of.

It. 

;-;

-Emily