Letters I'll Never Send

Tyler (rated R for language)

Here it is ladies and gentleman! I'm FINALLY going to write the Tyler letter! I hope you have a lot of time on your hands because this is gonna be a long one. Also, this chapter is rated R because of my frequent use of 'the F word.' When I think of Tyler, I think of a bunch of swear words and I guess that one is my favorite whn it comes to hate. Remember, I have changed the names for the sake of privacy.

Tyler,

First, let me start of by saying you are a total douche-bag. I hate you. I can't believe I dated such a big dick.

I thought you loved me! You said I was the only reason you got up in the morning. You told me that you would always love me. I know we are in high school, but it made sense for some reason.

I knew we would break up eventually. I mean, I never planned on marrying you! You're a flipping Wiccan and I'm a good Christian girl. Plus, it was just a middle/high school love. We dated from January 7th of eighth grade to mid October of 9th grade (last October.)

We were friends at first. The first half of 8th grade was just us having fun and messing stuff up. Then, you cut yourself. That's when I started to like you. (Hey, I have a thing for emo boys. The more messed up the better. Don't judge me.) Of course I made you stop cutting and jabbing yourself with needles. I couldn't LET you do that yourself! What kind of person would I be if I did?

Then, as if the self-harm wasn't enough, you cut your hideously long hair into this cute spikey thing that I suggested. THAT was AH-DORABLE. How could a girl resist you when you looked like a freaking movie star?

I knew that dating you would end in hurt. I knew I shouldn't date you. You had a new girlfriend every month! We would probably have lasted for two months AT MOST! (But somehow we managed to get 9.5) but that hair.. I couldn't resist.

We started dating the day school got back from holiday break. That was the biggest fucking mistake. I'm sorry, oh wait, I'm NOT sorry, but that was the worst decision I could have EVER made. Tyler Willams, you are a fucking prick and I can't believe I let myself fall for someone as horrible as you!

You somehow made me like you that day. It wasn't just your hair, it was your way with words. I was feeling horrible and fat, and you assured me that I was beautiful and skinny.

Then came the codes. Oh those stupid fucking codes. We were saying things like "182!U&1928:R&2!CU$1!TE" to each other. It was so stupid I don't even know why I freaking went along with it!

Eventually, you grew tired of the codes and said "screw it. I like you and you like me. Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I remember feeling butterflies, but also regret. I wasn't completely sure that I liked you yet. I had just led you to believe that I had a crush on you though, so it would kinda be a bitch move for me to say no.

I told you that I wanted to, but I knew that when we broke up our friendship would be ruined. (Honestly, how do you keep a friendship with someone you date for 9 fucking months? You don't.)

And that's when our relationship came to existence. (Over a stupid fucking text message. Like you didn't even have the balls to ask me out in person. I should have know then how bad you were. Stupid fucking coward.)

It was awkward at first, but then sweet. You were always saying cute things to me and I loved it.

I remember the first time you said I love you. It was sometime in February. (It was over text. Of course. You're a freaking coward.) you said "I luv u."

And me, being the naive little girl I am, said "I luv u 2." Apparently 'luv' is like 'love' just not as strong so that's what we said for awhile.

You gave me your first guitar pick on a string. It was the cutest thing ever! No wait, the bracelet that said "Tyler's girl" was the cutest thing ever. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I wore both the items throughout the school day, then took them off on the bus because my family didn't know about you. (I wasn't allowed to date.) I loved showing them off to everybody. "Look what my boyfriend made me!" If you knew me, I was shoving my cute gifts in your face. It didn't matter who you were. If you knew my name, you knew my boyfriend had given me a bracelet and a necklace.