Letters I'll Never Send

J-Bean (again)

J-Bean,

 Just... no. I don't like you. At all. In any way. And I never will.
Ever.

You make me so mad. Every time I tell you something you 1) find a way to 'playfully' insult me, 2) make everything seem like my fault, and 3) try to 'out-do' me and bring the attention to you.

#3 is the worst. Oh gosh there so much I haven't told you because of that reason. It's like you can't stand for ONE SECOND that someone else has a problem. Every conversation has to be about YOU.
Like, okay, when I went to the orthopedic last week and told you what they said, you wrapped your arm in toilet paper, took a picture of it, and sent it to me. You told me you "went to the hospital last night." NO. NO YOU DIDN'T. BECAUSE THAT IS NOT HOSPITAL BANDAGING THAT IS BATHROOM WIPE BANDAGING. Your ex even told me that you were with her that night.
Another example is when I told you about my dad losing his job and how we have to move again and we're going to be broker than broke and I was really upset and what was the first thing you replied with?????.... "I have a big problem..." REALLY? DO YOU REALLY HAVE A BIG PROBLEM OR ARE YOU JUST UPSET THAT I'M THE ONE TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS FOR ONCE? Of course, I decided not to be nice so I replied that I couldn't deal with anyone else's problems right now and you stopped replying to me.
Which is great because I. HATE. YOU.

And another thing, you're always trying to get me to beg you to do something and chase after you. Every week (literally, every. week.) you're like "I'm not going to church today." and ill be like "no please come!" and then you text me later and MAKE me make you come.

Okay yeah I'm sorry about all this. I lied. You are one of my best friends and I realize you have imperfections and I need to deal with them. If I removed everyone that had a fault I didn't like, I would live a lonely life, wouldn't I? You have flaws (a LOT of them), but I love you. When I'm uncomfortable in a situation, you show up instantly. No questions asked. No matter what you have to do.

Plus, you gave me some of your coffee and scoobie snacks (I forgot how good those were) this morning, which I'm really happy about. I barely got any sleep due to Marco being a turd of Facebook Messenger and your coffee made me wake up. 

In all seriousness, I really would miss you if we weren't friends anymore. When you're happy, you are literally the funnest person in the world. Like, you're just like me. Which is super cool cuz that means that we are super crazy together. 
Also, you don't have a crush on me anymore. Which is super great because now I can act all gay (you know, like best friends do) and not have to worry about you taking it the wrong way or getting hurt.

Again, I'm sorry. I just get mad sometimes. I love you.. platonicly that is.

-Emily