Letters I'll Never Send

Unexpected Turn of Events--KC

This is an update of sorts about the one and only Kitchen Counter.

*note: IDK if i've used the nicknames christopher or Alexandria before. If I have, these two are not the same as any names in the past. Theres are completely new people. Also, I think I used the correct lastname I gave myself but if not oh well*

That's right, KC. You somehow managed to enter my life again.

But before I get into that, I want to post something that I enjoyed seeing: you divorced the girl you denied me for. You caused me pain that lasted for two years for a girl that you wouldn't even end up with. Furthermore, it was your childishness that caused the divorce. Apparently, you were a horrible husband and I am soooooo glad that I never got the chance to be you girlfriend.

Anyways, one of my friends (who I'll call Christopher) started dating this girl Alexandria. Does that name sound familiar, KC? It should. She's your cousin.

When I found out you were kin to her, I told her about what happened between us. Apparently, she already knew. Because apparently, you made it a huge deal to your family. You talked about it like it was the biggest drama of the century. Like I somehow ruined your reputation and put a dent in the course of your life. Except, you lost nothing except one of the random girls you were stringing along (because apparently, there were many). You lost nothing except a 14-year-old who was desperately in love with you and believed you loved her too. I guess that's why you were upset, because I boosted your ego so much. Because you lost someone who would have done anything for you even though you didn't do shit for me. Meanwhile, I lost the person who I thought I would eventually get to hold forever. I lost my best friend. I lost the person who held every single one of my emo little thoughts and feelings. I lost the person who had been on my journey to the cringy emo little shit I would become. To me, my world had fallen apart.

But somehow, that was my fault apparently.

You know, I never got to see your side of things. I had always assumed that after that phone call, you deleted my number and then forgot about me. But I was wrong. You stewed over it and brewed nothing but hate for the girl that was three years younger than you.

So she gets in the car with you while I am standing out there with my boyfriend and my two best friends. I'm so happy. I look the most beautiful I ever have, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. Could you tell? Stupid question. If you couldn't, you wouldn't have said all those things about me.

"That's Emily? Emily Childs???" you asked Alexandria. She said yes. "She's Christopher's friend?" he asked. You said yes.

"...dump him."

wow okay. You told your cousin to dump her boyfriend because he was my best friend. Um, RUDE! But then, you went on to call my a slut. And you told her that "we dont talk to sluts."

Now, I could go on and on about that statement and how wrong and hypocritical it is, but I'll save the rant for another time.

Alexandria told me you just went on. and on. and on. and you wouldnt. stop. She told you it upset her, but you just kept going.

When I learned of this, I was obviously not too happy about it. I had done nothing to you. I hadn't even spoken to you since 2014. So...why do you hate me so much??

The question rang throughout my head an uncharitable amount of times until I could no longer contain myself and I had to ask you what the hell you were pissed at me for in the first place, and why the hell you still were. Alexandria gave me your number on the condition that, if questioned about it, I firmly state "I took it from her phone" (but I didn't have to because you didn't ask).

I sent you a long message which essentially asked those questions in a mature, adult manner and requested that we have a talk about it.

You told me to call you.

So I called you. And I started out just by asking if I had done something to upset you. You told me I hadn't, and you apologized for what you said to your cousin. Though, you did tell me that you were just "joking around." But personally, I don't care that you said you were joking. All I care about was that you acknowledged that you were wrong about it.

And then you said something that I had been dying to hear since the second I saw the facebook post.

"I'm sorry. I do feel kind of bad about the whole thing (referring to what broke us in the first place), and mostly regretful."

Regretful.

I asked you what you meant.

"Well, as I'm sure you know, me and my wife are getting a divorce. I always kind of felt like I chose wrong, but at the time I didn't know exactly what you were trying to do with me."

"Well, I mean I was 14 anyways. I'm over it now and it all worked out for the best anyways," I replied.

I don't love you anymore. I haven't in over a year—maybe more. I don't care about you anymore. But there was just something about hearing you tell me that you wish you had chosen me that gave me an insane boost in my ego. I know, that sounds kind of shitty. But when you've spent four years telling yourself that someone will regret missing out on you—four years wishing that someone will realize you were worth more than they originally thought—it is one of the most amazing feelings to hear it come true.

Yeah, you did choose wrong. You chose drastically wrong. But, you know what? I'm so glad you did. Because all the wrong choices you, Nathan, Cheating Asshole, Edward, and everyone else made led me to Blake. Every single wrong choice I made led me to Blake. Because every single one of those "wrong" choices turned out to be the exactly right ones.

Thank you for choosing wrong. And thank you for this closure that you have finally provided me with. If there was any kind of hatred or grudges left in me, you have cleared them. You have effectively taken your name off of the list of those who I would absolutely royally screw over if given the chance.

Thank you. This was the final chapter that I never knew the book needed.

-Emily