My Thirty Day Plan

Day 31

I woke up in his arms , on the middle of the night . His breath was fanning my face gently . He was smiling , pala . Not like the smirks and lopsided grins , and he was giving me the previous days . No , he was smiling today like he was . . . . . so happy .

My body hurts and I know this time that it is really real . Something did happen and I let it happened with my consent . But it was the most very beautiful thing that ever happened to me so far , and I never knew that he had the capacity to do that . He made me feel loved and desired . Like I was the only woman for him . And he was the only man for me . Last night , all our choiced didn't matter . We threw our cautions in the air . We just did what we both wanted .

Kiefer : Sige na ! Maligo ka na . . . .

Alyssa : (sabay agad tumakbo papasok ng C.R dala ang towel niya)

Habang naliligo ako , kung siguro noong una pa lang ay nangyari na ito , baka mandiri na ako mismo sa sarili ko . But as days go and passed by I have learned to love the man who's I really thought that he is literally a jerk but I was really wrong , pala . I have learned to love a man who wills himself into caring .

Kiefer taught me to let go of my fears and now my only fear is to let him go . But I have to . He won't have me for forever and I can't force him to go with me . Kung ayaw naman niya talaga hindi ko naman siya mapipilit . Ayoko lang kasi na mapagod ako sa kanya na kakatanong kung handa ba siyang sumama sa akin o wag na lang . Ang sakit na , pakiramdam ko konti na lang ay iiwan ko na pala siya . Tama na nga ito baka hindi ko kayanin . It's really a great thing , I had the sense to pack up yesterday . Aalis na lang ako .

Kaya ko nga bang umalis ?

After kong maligo ng mabilisan ay agad na akong nagbihis at nagsuot ng sapatos . I saw him , he's lying on his bed . And he's sleeping like a baby . Bago pa man ako maiyak ay lumabas na ako ng room ni Kief. But I already wrote a letter on him , pero noong isang linggo ko pa iyon ginawa . Things have changed since then . Kaya sumulat na lang ako ng bago . Hindi naman yung kasing bago gaya nang nauna .

Only six letters . Sorry , But I Have To Go . Alam niya naman ang dahilan kung bakit ako aalis . Hindi ko na talaga kailangan pang magpaliwanag .

Nasa baba na yung mga gamit ko . 2 luggages and 1 bag lang naman ang dala ko . I was distracted when someone texted me .

From : Cole

Good A.M ! 'Ly , I'm here in front of gate . . . .

Bago ako lumabas ay pinunasan ko muna yung laway sa mukha ko . Kasi basang basa na yung mukha ko ng laway . Masakit pero kailangan ng tanggapin . At pagkatapos ay lumabas na ako kasama ang mga luggages at bag ko .

When I saw him , he carried my luggages and bag and place it in the compartment of the van . After that we get in , in the van . Habang palayo na ako sa bahay ay hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin sa labas at makatitig sa kung saan man at mapaluha muli . Hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung paano kaya tatanggapin ni Kief. na mawawala na ako sa tabi niya .