My Big Fat Demons [Revised]

Funerals and Resignations (6)

× TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm ×

Nessuno's POV

"Babe. Please let me in." Sebastian called from outside the bathroom door. I sat frozen, staring at the blade twirling in my fingers. I've never known how to deal with my emotions appropriately. Physical pain was something I could manage. Honestly, I had felt a sense of pride for not relapsing after that altercation with Mr. Douchebag. But Mr. Alsworth was like a grandfather to me. He was the only family I had in this fucked up town besides Missie and Sebastian. This week has been utter shit. I have so much on my plate and I don't know how to handle things. Now I have to attend a fucking funeral TOMORROW. With me being the only person listed on Mr. Alsworth's will, he has left all of the responsibility to me. I'm supposed to take over the bookstore, he has left everything to me. The bookstore, his home, and all of his possessions. I thought he was a lonely old man, but I had no idea that he literally had no one. In his will he requested to be buried next to his wife, the plot and funeral service is already paid for. So we are having it tomorrow so Mr. fucking Victoriano can have his event Monday.

"Fuck this. I'm kicking the door down." Missie said impatiently. I didn't budge as the banging started. Lord knows one of us is going to pay for a replacement if she kicks down the door. Frankly, I didn't care at this point. I just got back from the lawyer's office. He was going to wait to read the will at the funeral but since I am the only one listed he decided to just meet with me privately.

"Please let me in.." She whimpered. As soon as I had returned, I locked myself in the bathroom.

The weight of the entire week was too much to bear, so I gave in and relapsed. Am I proud of myself? No. Did it change anything? Also no. I cannot tell you exactly why I do what I do, it's just some sort of relief that I cannot explain.

The door to the bathroom finally opened. Missie stood there with a wire hanger and a bobby pin in her hands. Sebastian immediately ran to my side. Missie snatched the blade from my hand and tossed it in the toilet while Sebastian began to nurse me up with the first aid. I could feel the disappointment in Missie's eyes so I didn't bother looking at her. Sebastian noticed the choice of words I decided to carve into my skin. His jaw clenched and his eyes started to water.

"You did this because of that asshole didn't you?" He muttered through his teeth as his fingers gently caressed the words PIG and FAT on my thigh. I sighed and closed my eyes. Missie sat down next to me and guided my head to rest on her pillowy breasts.

"I swear I am going to fucking kill that jerk. You know he had the nerve to hit on me?" Missie scoffed.

"What'd you say?" I mumbled, actually curious.

"I told him I'd chop his balls off and serve it as today's special." She responded causing me to chuckle.

"That's it. I am quitting my job. I thought he was different. He's the fucking devil." Sebastian muttered.

"Babe, don't do that. You love your job." I protested.

"Nessie you need to rest. Do you need anything? Water? Ice cream?" Missie asked.

I shook my head and sighed when Sebastian was finally finished.

"Come on sweetie. Let's get you to bed." Sebastian said.

When I finally got to my bed I plopped down and felt my body sink into the bed. A sudden wave of exhaustion hit me like a train. Sebastian got in after me and spooned me. His gentle caress of my hair sent me into a deep, troubled sleep.

▪▪▪

The sun woke me up, and I buried my face in Sebastian's chest. This is a day that I am not ready for. The entire week is honestly dreadful. Today is the funeral and tomorrow I have to attend that stupid event. I honestly hate life right now. Missie knocked on the door before entering as if she doesn't live here and we aren't best friends. I see she was already dressed in her normal gothic look that was serving as a funeral look today. She sees that I am awake and smiles. Sebastian and Missie are going for moral support. As I said, Mr. Alsworth has nobody. So it'll just be us and the priest. I was informed yesterday that Victoriano Enterprises is paying for the funeral. This is something I honestly didn't expect. Mr. Victoriano doesn't know Mr. Alsworth at all and has no reason to pay for it. The only reason I can think of is to make himself look work. Which isn't at all surprising to me.