Thantophobia (Joel Pimentel & Yoandri Cabrera)

Chapter 44

Joel's POV

4:56am

After walking around for so long, we finally ended up in the front step of her house. We both stood there in front of one another, not really knowing what to say. It was almost like when we first left here, just a few hours ago.

"So this was also my house?" I asked her. Not because I was trying to make her feel bad, but because I wasn't very sure.

"Uh yeah. We moved in together after just two years of dating. We lived here for three years, well before you know..." I disappeared? The topic always switched up to this. Somehow we always end up there.

"And I'm guessing that you let him move in after just a few months?" I wasn't accusing her of anything. I just wanted to figure things out.

"I mean, you can say that." She quietly replies.

"Oh." Was all I managed to say. Part of me wanted her to lie to me. To tell me that he's only there because he forced her to. But I knew not to believe that. He doesn't seem like that type of person.

"You can come visit anytime." She softly smiles. Great now she's inviting me to my own home. "You can visit Joey whenever you want. He'll like that." She adds on.

I still can't believe that I have a son. A son that I know nothing about. A son that is a stranger just like everybody else. A small kid that will look at me and call me dad while all I'll see is just a face. I guess I can say that maybe that can change.

"Yeah. I'll do just that." I said as I looked at the ground to hide my sorrow.

"You're also more than welcomed to come to the wedding later. It'll be downtown, you can't miss it." She added. I looked at her face. I took one hard look at it.

"Mari, don't do it." I silently pleaded.

"I have-" She started off saying

"No! You don't have to! Don't do it for me, Joey or him! Do it for yourself. Don't torture yourself over something like this just because you feel pity!" I tried to convince her.

"Joel I already decided and-"

"Mari listen to yourself. You're not even sure! Let's runaway! Let's go! Go inside and grab the kid and we can leave this shitty town! We'll be happy, us three. Now we're three thirds of a whole idiot. It'll work." I begged her.

"Stop. Joel, don't." She silently whispered as the tears started streaming down her face. "I promised him."

"Promises are meant to be broken Mari! We both know that!" I fought back.

"No you don't understand Joel-"

"Do you love me?" I ask her. "Before you start living a lie, I need to know if you love me or not."

She looked deep in thought, but the tears were still there. That's when she hesitated "I do." She answered as she finally looked at me.

I shook my head furiously. "You hesitated." I whispered. That's when I knew that I needed to stop doing what I was doing.

I understood. This was her goodbye from me. She was letting go of the past that kept tormenting her and I understood. My tour of this city turned out to go the opposite way. It was her goodbye.

"I have to go." She quietly whispered.

"Yeah." I nodded as I watched her walk up her steps. "Good luck later. I um, wish you guys the best." I didn't mean a word I said.

"Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?" Mariana asked.

I simply shrugged and started walking the opposite way. Part of me begged for Mariana to come after me. But after a minute of silently walking by myself I realized that it wasn't going to happen.

Maybe I can leave again and not show my face around here. I'm sure he'll keep taking care of my son. And for Mariana, I hope she finds true happiness while living her lie. I just want her to find that, her happiness. 

~~~~~

So she chose Yoyo. Shocker. Stay tuned for the wedding (;

I love you all, don't forget to vote.