Thantophobia (Joel Pimentel & Yoandri Cabrera)

Chapter 2

Mariana's POV

December 15, 2013

Not even two days later and here we are at his funeral. Casket nailed shut because the remains of his body were apparently too gross to look at. As I stand here I can't help but hate everybody. They didn't care about him, I did. I was the only one there for him, and he was the only one there for me. I should've asked him to stay.

I see people going up on the podium and telling stories about him when he was a kid. They claim to always remember him as a carefree person. This only added to my anger. He wasn't carefree; he cared about everything and everybody. He had a pure heart and was an old soul. He was one of a kind and nobody seemed to notice that.

This funeral was pathetic. He deserved much more than this. We were outside sitting in rows outside of a small church. The weather was sunny, the complete opposite of my mood. There was a forest nearby.

For some reason I keep looking over at the trees, hoping that he will come out and say "haha guys! Just kidding! I'm here." But I knew that no matter how hard I wished that will never happen.

It was my turn to go up to the podium. If I'm being honest I didn't have anything prepared. I spent the last two days drowning in my own tears and letting my sorrow swallow me whole. I didn't want to talk about him; it would only make the whole in my heart bigger.

When I finally made it to the podium I could see that everyone was looking at me. I didn't know many of these people and I knew that he didn't know them either. Despite the many tears in their eyes, I could see the curiosity there. I still hated them.

"Joel was..." I tried to start off. "He was umm..." I was at loss of words. My throat felt too dry and my anxiety was getting the best of me. This didn't feel right. So I did what I always do, I panicked and ran away.

I ran as far away as possible. My legs were aching, my throat was burning and my lungs felt like they were going to collapse any second. That didn't stop me though. I kept running until I tripped on something and caused me to fall.

I lay there for what seemed like hours. I let my grief take over and just cried to myself. I couldn't take it anymore. How can anyone expect me to keep going on with life when the person I loved the most got taken away from me?  

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Well here's the first chapter you guys!! I hope you guys enjoy and I'll be updating soon!! (: