Thantophobia (Joel Pimentel & Yoandri Cabrera)

Chapter 48

Joel's POV

Joey was in his little tux, catching fireflies. He was in his own little world, muttering incoherent things, almost like singing. Not a single care about life or it's problems. I had showed up, probably at the wrong moment and wrong time. I had just sent their friend back to get them. I still wasn't pretty sure why I was here, but I knew that they wouldn't be pleased.

"Daddy, will you stay with us forever now?" Joey asked.

I didn't want to get attached to the kid, but something about him just makes me want to runaway with him right now. But I knew that I couldn't and I could never make up for the years that we have lost.

"No." I truthfully answered. Maybe even if I wanted to stay, I knew that Mari and her puppet would never let me in. After all, they're the perfect couple.

"Aww, dad?" Joey said as he looked at me with those big of his, they reflect my own. "You're the giant in my small world."

I couldn't help the tears that fell down my face. I quickly brushed them off so he wouldn't see. "That should be the other guy." I whispered as I kneeled down to match his height. "He loves you and buys you toys-" Before I finished, I heard someone gasp. I didn't have to take a lot of guesses to know who it was.

It was the royal couple themselves.

They both looked at me like I was a jigsaw puzzle. As if they didn't know what to say and neither did I, because if I was being honest, I had not planned this out. We just stared at each other. Mari, looked like a joke and the other guy looked like the clown.

Who was I lying to? Mari looked like a dream come true, except that it wasn't my dream. She was a bride, a real one too. Even though she wasn't in a white dress, she looked like a godess. I would've married her even if she decided not to wear a white dress at the ceremony. Hell, I would've married her even if she looked like the Corpse Bride.

"Bread boy." Her clown spoke up first. I was going to compliment him, but there's nothing to compliment. I had seen him before, it was at the bakery where I used to work. Used to because I haven't showed up in days.

"Nice seeing you again Dumbo." I sharply remarked.

"We're not doing this right now... or ever." Mari cut in before we could get any further. "What is it that you need?" She asked, specifically not looking in my direction.

"I just wanted to congratulate you guys. Don't think that I came here to separate you two, I just wanted to give you guys my blessing." I was speaking truthfully, I had accepted the fact that I had somehow lost a game that I wasn't willing to play in the beginning.

"Oh, thank you." Dumbo said looking at me surprised. "I hope you know that there are no hard feelings, you can come see Joey anytime. This has all been a mix-up and-"

"Hey man, I don't." I started. "That's really heartwarming and heartfelt, but I'd rather keep my distance. You guys have it all under control... I actually just came here to ask you guys a favor."

Dead silence. Even Joey, stopped playing with his fireflies and looked straight at me. Mari looked at the ground while Dumbo looked at Joey. I tried to focus on both of them but it was so hard when they were both avoiding you.

"What could that favor be?" Mari asked. Her gaze still at the grass underneath.

"Just say yes, both of you say yes." I slowly said.

They both looked at me in confused but both muttered an "okay, sure."

"I'm dead okay. I don't exist and nobody knows that. I want things to stay this way. I don't want anyone to know that I'm alive because it's something that I still don't understand. I also want you guys to take care of my kid. Please let him grow up to be great gentlemen, but also let him be free. I just want him to be someone in life, but I guess that's what you guys want too. I don't ask for much, I'll keep in touch, I swear. But I can't stay here, in this city. Therefore I came to say goodbye... like the last goodbye..."

Saying all of that took a big weight off my chest. I had to let them know. I had to let HER know. Sticking around in this city and getting random memories at random times was getting too painful to bare when she was finally happily married.

"Joel, why?" she asked as she finally looked at me.

"I wanna explore, be myself for a why... I believe I need it." I simply said.

"You're just going to leave your son, just like that?" Dumbo asked.

"I said I'll keep in touch. I'm not leaving him." I said as I looked at Joey. "Besides, I don't think you want me there every single day. Do you?"

Both of them stayed silent. I was debating on having a solo moment with Mari, but I decided against it. I had already said everything to her last night and it still wasn't enough. There was nothing I could do and that was it.

Both of them just looked at each other with dull expressions. It was nauseating. I couldn't watch, even with their grim expressions, I still didn't find it in me to keep looking at them. I kneeled down at Joendri who was slightly leaning against my leg.

"Joey." I said trying to get all of his attention. "Joey, be good for your mom okay? Take care of her for me? Love her like I did and never let her go, even if she asks for something stupid. Don't leave her side, even if she wants to eat cupcakes on a random day, because maybe one day, you might lose her too." I paused. "Love all her flaws, love her negative attitude when she has it. Love her stories. Even if they're about the most bizarre things like leprechauns, or moths, or jumping out of windows. Love them because one day you might not be able to hear them ever again. Sing to her whenever you get the chance because she likes things like that. She loves cheesy films that will make her cry. She'll never admit it, but she likes to sleep in cozy sweaters no matter the weather. Love her with all your heart, because she'll be your whole world too."

I was pretty sure that the poor toddler wasn't going to grasp everything I was saying, but once the words came out, they couldn't stop. I had to let them all know, even if I looked like a madman. I gave Joey one last hug and looked over at Mari who was holding Dumbo's hand. I could see that she was trying very hard to keep her composure for his sake. I wasn't fooled like he was, wow they really were a joke.

"Goodbye guys, I wish you all a happy marriage." And with that, I walked away.

~~~~~~~

A YEAR OF THANTOPHOBIA!!!! 

A year ago I started writing this, not very sure of where I would get and here I am, still trying. Who would've thought that La Banda 1st Season would've changed my heart... So many things do change in a year and it's amazing that I still have you guys, well some. <3

Looking back to everything, it kinda makes me want to cry. This year was the most heartbreaking, eyeopening yet beautiful year ever.

I was very emotional when I wrote this, reflecting a lot of things that have happened to me during this year. Words can never explain how much I love every single one of you! This story has been one of the greatest things that have ever happened in my life.

I also wanna thank Dennie for KINDA motivating me to write this chapter. Love ya. (;

Don't forget to vote and comment. Thank you all so much for an amazing year. I love you all. <3

-Ana