Chapter 56

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by primejoel

by primejoel

Mariana's POV

One Month Later

It's been one month since Yoyo's funeral. It's been one quiet, heart wrenching month without him. I've been in the house wandering around, only occasionally leaving the house to take Joey to meet with Joel.

The funeral was what you'd expect a funeral to be. Some people mourned while others tried to keep it in. In the end, all it felt like was someone being celebrated because they were now gone.

His coffin was open, it was left open so people could see and slightly touch him one last time.

When it was my turn to go up there, I just couldn't find it in me to look at his face. I looked at his hands instead. Even though his body was thinner and slightly paler, his hands were still his hands and that somewhat gave me comfort.

I was teary eyed and my throat was dry. I couldn't get any words out no matter how hard I tried to get them to come out. Joey was still too young to understand, but he knew that Yoandri was gone. He had been pretty upset by it, but Joel has helped with that.

I would look at Yoyo's hands as I ran my hand through my hair. I didn't say anything to him, all I did was lay the white rose that Joel had given to me on his lap.

They told me that before somebody dies, they were supposed to choose what they wanted to wear on their funeral. Yoandri never got around to that though, so therefore the choice was on me. I told them to clean the tux that he had worn on the wedding, that way we would be married forever.

Richard and Johann no longer live with me. I told them that I didn't mind them staying here with me, but deep down inside I knew they wouldn't feel comfortable that way. The house hasn't felt this empty in years.

I haven't seen them since they left, which was around three weeks ago. They also left some money for me, which wasn't really necessary. Yoyo and I had some savings and I think Joey and I will be fine for a while. Although, I am grateful for what Johann and Richard left.

I'll probably have to find a job sometime soon, I still have Joey left and I can't let my life be in shambles with him around. It's just something that has been on my mind for sometime now.

If it wasn't for Joey, then I'd probably be crying every second of the day. I'd probably lay in bed thinking about the endless possibilities of the universe. Maybe thinking about what would've happened if I were to be the one in that coffin, not Yoyo.

Joel and I have been playing some sort of hide and seek. Well I'm the one playing, he doesn't seem to be interested in the game. I know he gave me my space and he respects that, but I just can't bring myself to go up to him and talk to him.

I do everything I can to avoid crossing paths with him. Everyday I take Joey to the park to meet with him and every night I wait in the same spot. I watch from afar to make sure that Joey gets to him safely.

I do see Joel, I peep from where I am, but most of the time I do it to make sure that Joey is with him. Lucky for me, I've never caught Joel's eye or a single glance. I also told Joey not to tell him where I am.

It's probably cruel or cowardly on my part. I know that there's a big difference between both, but these days I can't distinguish between which is which. Joey is usually gone for four hours on the weekdays and on the weekends, he spends the night over at Joel's house.

Every minute that Joey is gone, I tend to rearrange things around the house. I also found a new habit of stress baking. Although no one really eats the pastries. I finally learned to cook properly while I listen to sad songs.

After I get bored or tired, I go upstairs and wait for time to be up. I try to watch TV but the same soap operas that Yoandri and I used to watch are still being displayed. It's just not the same without him.

I'm completely bitter and utterly miserable, but I'm trying. I have to learn to be independent. I have to do this for Joey and I think I owe it to myself and Yoyo too...

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What do you think of the way Mariana is handling things?

Short chapter today, but it's one of the last :( Man this is so emotional lol.

I love you all.

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