Journey | Yogscast Lewis x Reader

7 - Ignore It

You don't realise your hands are shaking terribly until you look down and realise the drinks you're holding are sloshing about in their glasses. You're amazed you haven't dropped them.

Blinking hard, you notice the lights suddenly seem brighter and hotter before - it makes you feel sick. Breathing in deeply, you shake off the feeling and carry on walking back to your table, not daring to turn back and look at Lewis and his girlfriend again.

The thing is, you think to yourself, I don't resent Lewis for having a girlfriend. I don't resent his girlfriend either. I just resent Lewis for the way he dealt with the whole thing, and caused an argument over something as stupid as that. 

Yeah. It's just that. That's why you're so angry.

You place the two glasses on the table carefully to avoid any spillages and sit down in the chair next to (Y/B/F/N), who is deep in conversation with Smith about music. 

"Thanks," she says, taking her drink. Then she whispers, "You were right. These guys are great."

"When am I wrong?" you say, forcing a smile. But you've never been that good at lying - especially not to (Y/B/F/N).

"What's wrong?" she says, leaning away from the others, who are already talking about something else.

You shake your head. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just a bit tired."

"What's wrong?" she repeats.

You inhale deeply. "Lewis brought his girlfriend with him."

She doesn't press further, thankfully. She just nods, and murmurs, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," you mutter, staring at your shoes. "I don't know why I'm reacting so bad to it, though."

(Y/B/F/N) sighs. "I think I might know why."

"Go on, then."

"It's simple. You're jealous."

You notice she's watching your facial expression carefully, so you make sure not to frown, or clench your jaw, or show any signs that you're angry - and you're not angry. You're just sad.

"I think you might be right," you say, looking over at Lewis, who is chatting to the bartender with his girlfriend on the other side of the hall. "I hate to admit it, but I think you're right."

She says nothing in reply.

When she finally looks away again to take a sip of her drink, you glance over at Lewis again.

It seems you never actually knew him until now. It's strange - you'd never thought Lewis was this kind of person. The argument had been so unlike him - and you'd spent a fair amount of time wondering what you did wrong, but you couldn't find anything. 

It hurts that you still like him, too.

Tonight, he's changed into a casual red and blue checked shirt and blue jeans. It hurts that you're still thinking about him, and how if things had gone another way, maybe, just maybe, he would have liked you back, and not got a girlfriend, and not started a stupid, stupid argument...

But reality is reality. 

You look away from Lewis before he or anyone else can notice you're staring at him.

"(Y/N)." It's your best friend again. "Do you want me to go talk to Lewis? He probably doesn't know I'm your friend."

"What good'll that do?" you say miserably.

"Well..." She hesitates. "First off, I want to get to know him. Secondly, you know, he might say something about you. You never know."

"Sure, go ahead then. But don't give me away."