My Invisible Friends (Imaginary But Real) 3

GUY Troubles

June 1

Joseph really had me turned on this morning, I have to admit. It was 6:45 a.m. and he thought I was asleep when he got back in bed next to me. He was poking me to make sure I was asleep and I didn't move. He began to tell me things he said he'd never say if I was awake. He told me I was beautiful and that he wouldn't report me for breaking into his house. He then told me he was going to treat me like a princess.

The guy really knows how to turn on the charm.

The problem? He's done so many awful things! He molested Karilee, for crying out loud! I didn't want to do to Karilee what Dolly had done to Lynn. I wondered if Joseph was either trying to brainwash me like he does all women, or if he was just trying to get me to be his next f*ck buddy. The thing was, I wanted him to do stuff with me because he knows how to be romantic and I wanted to know what it felt like.

All day, I had an inner battle. I had Joseph, who was really good at being romantic and turning on the charm, or I had Bronson, who I'd actually felt a connection with and been in love with. He'd actually been there for me through things. Joseph? Not so much.

While Joseph had been cuddling me last night, I was thinking about that book I'm writing about Bronson.

But then Joseph came into the room when I was sitting on the bed and he asked me if I wanted to cuddle. I was hesitant at first because he's done so many bad things, but I finally cleared everything off the bed and laid there with him and let him cuddle me. While he was snuggling me, I began to think it wasn't a good idea to be with him, because I know eventually I will have a "real" husband, and I felt like I was cheating on my future husband with Joseph. That's because my mom told me God had told her I was going to have kids and of course, God never lies, so I didn't want to cheat on my future husband with this man who had done so many terrible things.

I had to get up from the bed and answer my phone, which was ringing, and it was my mom, but it was also ringing on my iPad, so I turned the iPad off to go and get the phone. But it stopped ringing because I had turned the iPad off!! UGHH!!

Ms. Dolly teased me that if I hadn't been spooning with Joseph, I'd have been able to get to the phone. The reason she wasn't p*ssed was because we had talked earlier and she'd said she'd observe what Joseph did with me.

But I finally got to talk to my mom and then Ms. Dolly, Destiny, Erica, Charlene, Marlee, and I ate dinner at the neighbors' where Monica lives. When we got home, Lynn was there and she wanted to talk to me about Joseph. She said she thought he liked her, and I said he liked me, too. We had a problem. She was afraid he would do something to her, and she still thought she wanted him, but then later she concluded she didn't. I told her I had chosen Bronson.

I need practice for being with older guys, but not with Joseph, and I know I said I'd be cheating on my future husband with Joseph, but with Bronson, it's better because he isn't a bad guy and is very sweet.

Also, now Aunt Becca's boyfriend is here.

Xoxo~ M