Inspirations

"Anywhere But Here" Mayday Parade

This was originally with another song but I felt like it didn't fit, so I changed it. I think this fits a bit better, no? So yeah. I like it, I'm not sure where it would go, but I like it. Enjoy.

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"Anywhere But Here" Mayday Parade

            Ireland.

            That’s where I’ve always wanted to be. Somehow I figured that everything would fall into place if I was in Ireland. Illogical, yes; but somehow, in my mind, it made sense.

            So of course when I met Adrian I had to befriend him. He was half-Irish, had lived in Ireland for most of his life up until he had moved here- to Iceland-, and he seemed friendly enough.

            It was easy to be friends with him. We had a lot of common interests, which only increased my feeling that Ireland was the place for me.

            We lay on his bed, limbs sprawled everywhere; we were relaxing. He was throwing a baseball in the air and in the split moment where gravity pulled the ball back down I always shut my eyes, waiting for the ball to hit my mouth with a sickening thud.

            He always chuckled at this; I guess he found my terror funny. And it probably would have been funny if it had been anyone else; but it was me- little, old, weak me.

            Adrian rolled over, squishing me against the cold wall. “So, what? You’re not going to answer?”

            I tried to read Adrian’s expression. He seemed slightly angry, but then again he was a good actor. He could just be joking around. I racked my brain for what the conversation had been about- surely not tacos. That’s all I could remember. If Adrian was angry over tacos… No, he couldn’t be.

            I looked at him, blinking once. I tried not to think too much of his close proximity. But it seemed like I was running out of air; I started gasping, trying to remain levelheaded. I made a weak effort to push him away, “Personal bubble.” That’s what I always said when he got too close, he always moved away instantly, he knew how I felt about the bubble.

            But this time he remained persistent. He even moved closer.

            This was not okay with me.

            I tried to push him away again; instead he just pressed himself closer.

            I was too light headed to fight. Instead I tried concentrating on breathing. My breath was shallow and coming in pants. I was sure I was bound to pass out soon.

            He placed a hand on my shoulder. That only increased my pants and my heart rate. “Sh.” Adrian said; I could feel his hot breath and that only made me freak out even more.

            “Adrian, please.” I could feel my eyes pleading and watering up. I was begging him to get away. I needed him to get away.

            But he persisted, ignoring the tears. He tried giving me a warm smile, but it all seemed cynical. Was this some sort of cruel joke? Did he want me to pass out? “Listen to me.” He murmured, wiping away a stray tear.

            Usually I would have made a snarky remark. Told him to make me listen; but right then all I wanted was some breathing air. And there was none. I didn’t register that another boy was touching me and getting way too close.

            Adrian knew. Adrian knew I needed my space. So why was he so keen as to not give it to me? I felt a sob come, which got caught in my throat. There was not enough air for a sob.

            “There’s not enough air, Adrian!” My voice had raised a few notches. I was wriggling against him, pushing and kicking away; all I wanted was some air. Why couldn’t he give me air!

            “Listen to me.” Adrian whispered again. His lips were too close; they brushed against my own when he spoke. I kept wriggling. It wasn’t that he was a boy. It was that he was too damn close. Why didn’t he get that?

            “Move, please.” I was gasping; the room was fading in and out. I couldn’t even hear my voice.

            “Ah, shit. Where you being serious?” Adrian moved away from me.

            It was too late. I could see the room blacking out in spots.

            Adrian shook me a bit. “C’mon, dude. Don’t fade.”

            I gasped a bit when he touched me. Hadn’t he understood the whole ‘personal bubble’ issue!

            It took all my strength to move his hands away from my shoulders. He let go easily, towering over me, looking worried. I fell back on the bed, letting my body go limp. I shut my eyes, praying for enough air. There would be enough air as long as Adrian kept his distance.

            “Lex, everything okay?” He asked me.

            I took a deep, shaky breath before answering. My voice was poisonous but weak. “Personal bubble.”

            He moved away. “I got it. Means get away.” Adrian nodded, hurriedly; the worried in his eyes was being replaced by relief.

            I offered him a weak smile. “I need space, Adrian, you know that.”

            Adrian offered me back a tentative smile. “You weren’t listening… sorry.” He ducked his head.

            I sat up, taking another deep breath. God, air feels so good. “It’s fine. Just, you know… remember.” I was kind of ashamed now. I had cried and begged in front of my friend, he probably thought I was a pussy. “What were you saying?”

            He looked at me, his blue eyes meeting my dark brown ones. “Nothing.” He mumbled.

            “Tell me.” I muttered, trying to calm the red in my cheeks. Gosh, why had I been such a dork?

            “Forget it.” Adrian’s cheeks flamed up.

            I watched him curiously. “What was it, Adrian?”

            Adrian met my eyes for a split second. His face broke out into a smile. “I wanted to thank you. For befriending me? Thanks for being a friend.” He said it rather sheepishly, and he let his gaze fall back to the quilt. He touched the baseball, rolling it between his hands.

            I shrugged, trying to lighten the mood. I didn’t want to feel bad. Sure, in the beginning it had been because of where he came from. But Adrian was a cool enough person. As I said, he was easy to be friends with. “Don’t tell anyone about the spasm and I won’t say anything about the thank you?”

            “Deal.” Adrian smiled throwing the baseball at me lightly.

            I smiled, catching it.